Asylum
by Var
Summary: A young woman suffers a terrible tragedy and is thrown, literally, to the island where she encounters Ben Linus and Mikhail. Can she use her suspicious knowledge of the island to stay alive, or will she become another victim? Set at end of Season 3.
1. From the Sky

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 1- From the Sky

Helena was dead.

She had to be. The pain was gone, that in itself was a blessing. Minutes ago everything had gone black. She thought she would wake up in an ambulance or hospital bed but instead she woke up to an intense white light all around her. She couldn't see anything except for the light.

She felt a presence nearby, nearly inside of her. It felt like someone was poking around inside her head, seeing what her last thoughts had been.

"Interesting", she heard a tinkling voice say as it chuckled. "Very well then."

Helena felt herself begin to fall, but there was no where to fall to. She fell through the empty air for what felt like hours until she finally landed, quite painfully, on solid ground.

She groaned and picked herself up off the ground wondering what the hell was going on. If she was dead shouldn't she be standing before a golden gate? Instead she found herself surrounded by thick foliage. The ground beneath her feet was soft and springy and the air smelled like it had rained recently. She was in a jungle.

Helena heard a twig snap behind her and swung around. The person she saw, well, let's just say that it wasn't possible to be seeing this person.

"Holy shit." She said under her breath.

"Who are you?" the person, the man, asked raising a gun to point at her chest.

Helena put her arms in air, "Please don't shoot me!"

"I asked you a question."

"My name is Helena and I think there has been some kind of mistake."

"Where did you come from?" he pushed. His clothes were wrinkled and a sheen of sweat covered his face, he looked like he had been traveling in the jungle for a while. He also looked impatient.

"That is hard to explain." Helena said hopelessly.

"You didn't crash with the plane. I don't recognize you. You just appeared out of no where?"

"Yes?" Helena said eyeing the gun.

"Are you real?"

"What? What does that even mean? Of course I am real." Helena said as she lowered her arms slowly.

The man didn't say anything as he shifted the aim of his gun and fired.

The bullet tore through Helena's arm and slammed into the tree behind her.

Helena grabbed her arm, "Son of a bitch! Did you really just shoot me?" she asked hardly believing it.

"I wanted to know if you were real." He said calmly.

"So you shoot me? You really have gone off your rocker haven't you Ben?"

The man straightened and aimed the gun at her again moving closer.

"How do you know my name?"


	2. I Know You

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 2-I Know You

Helena didn't pay him any attention. She thought back to what she had been doing the night she died, well, when she guessed she died. She had been in her room in the back of the house. She was 25 years old but she still lived with her parents. She was still in college getting her Master's degree and it was the easiest way to save money.

She'd heard the first shot clear as day. Without thinking she opened her door and crept into the hallway. She was about to turn into the kitchen when she came face to face with her father. They didn't talk much anymore, but Helena still caught the strange look in his eyes. He'd shot her nearly point blank in the stomach before she even saw that he was holding a gun.

* * *

"I know your name because I've seen you before. I've seen this island before. Not first hand but I have seen it." She finally answered.

"How?" he asked taking a step closer.

"Does it matter? I'm dead anyway, this is all some figment of my imagination."

"Why do you think you are dead?"

Helena looked at him, "Because I was shot, right here, in my stomach. It was too close to not be fatal." She said touching her stomach where her father had shot her.

"I died, and then I came to this place. This sure is a strange version of hell."

"You think you're in hell?"

"I was just shot, again. Is that supposed to happen in heaven?"

"You say you know about this place, how?"

"You know Ben, why should I tell you anything?"

"Because I have the gun."

"So, what, are you going to kill me? I'm already dead."

"Does your arm hurt?"

"What?"

"Your arm, is it hurting?"

Helena looked at her arm which was bleeding heavily, "Yes."

"Do you think if you were dead you would be feeling pain?"

"I don't know."

"I think you're lying. I don't think you really know anything. You're just bluffing so I won't kill you."

Helena laughed, "I'm lying? Isn't that you're job around here Ben? You want to know what I know?" she said straightening her stance and glaring at Ben.

"I know that you were not born on this island like you claim. I know that your daughter Alex looks suspiciously similar to a woman named Danielle Rousseau. I know that a number of years ago you killed your father; you watched him die. I know that only hours ago you led John Locke to a mass grave and shot him and I know why you did it. I also know that at this very moment you have a carved wooden doll in your bag. A doll that a little girl named Annie gave you for your birthday when you were children. I know that you treasure it and carry it with you when you are about to do something difficult."

"Difficult?" Ben whispered.

"Most would say evil."

Ben didn't reply. He seemed stunned; truly surprised that Helena could know so much about him.

"You still think I am lying Ben?"

Ben's eyes focused and became cold again at her words, "I don't have time for this." He said jamming the gun into his waistband and stalking to her. Before she could react he grabbed the shoulder of her long-sleeved shirt and yanked it down. The seem gave way and he used the fabric to bind her arm where he shot her.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her forward, "Come on."

"Where are we going?" she asked not moving.

"Back to my camp." He said shortly.

Helena knew she shouldn't trust him, but seeing as he was her only way back to the others she followed him.


	3. Alone

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 3-Alone

They had been walking for over an hour and Ben had been silent the entire time. Helena was lost in her own thoughts. The events of her death played over and over in her mind. No matter how many times she walked through it she still couldn't understand it. She had come to a twisted conclusion as to why she was in this place; why she was on this island.

She remembered lying on the floor of the kitchen after she had been shot. Blood was pooling around her and her pulse was slowing. In her last moments before death she remembered thinking that it was a Wednesday and that her favorite television show, LOST, would be on later that night. Even though she was lying in a pool of her own blood she was upset she was going to miss LOST. Her last thoughts before she died were, "Now, I'll never find out what happens."

She remembered the voice she had heard before she fell to the island. It must have sensed her thoughts about the show. It seemed she was being given a first hand chance to find out what was happening. Helena couldn't decide if this was a gift from heaven or a punishment from hell.

Helena shook her head at her own inaneness. It was ridiculous that her last thoughts were of a TV show. It was even more ridiculous that she now stood inside that same TV show. The only difference was the man leading her was clearly not an actor. He was really Benjamin Linus and that made him all the more dangerous.

* * *

Helena was brought out of her thoughts when she spotted a dark substance on the ground in front of her. Ben just walked over it but Helena stopped.

"You told me you were taking me back to your camp."

Ben turned back to smirk at her, "I lied. Does that really surprise you Helena?"

Helena shuddered when he said her name. She wondered why he had that effect on her.

"I don't want to go to Jacob's cabin."

"I don't care what you want. Did you really think I was just going to let you go? That I was going to take you back to my people and you could become one of us? For some one who claims to know all about this island, you sure aren't acting like it."

"So what, you're going to test me like you did John? You want to see if I can see or hear Jacob as well?"

"No, that is not what I had in mind at all."

"I'm not going." Helena said firmly. On the inside she was terrified, she knew what happened the last time Ben visited Jacob and she wanted nothing to do with it.

Ben was at her side in an instant and grabbed her bad arm making her wince in pain, "You don't have a choice, now come on." He said dragging her with him.

Helena fought him the whole way but he was stronger than her.

"You really are a bastard aren't you? And to think, I really liked your character."

Ben stopped in front of the cabin, "Character?"

"Damn." Helena said.

"We will discuss that later." He said pushing open the door.

"Jacob? It's Ben again. I have someone with me who I think you should meet. She is very interesting and I think it would be good if you could talk with her."

Ben pulled Helena with him into the small cabin. Even though it was bright and sunny outside the cabin remained dark.

"Do you really think he can hear you?" Helena asked skeptically.

"Do shut up." Ben said impatiently as he pushed her into a rocking chair in the corner. He pulled a length of rope from his bag and began tying her to the chair.

Helena tried to push him away but he only ignored her weak attempt. Within minutes she was latched tightly to the chair and the chair was tied to something heavy anchoring it to the floor.

"Don't leave me here." She pleaded.

"Look at you Helena; you're in no position to make demands."

"What am I some kind of sacrifice to get you back into Jacob's good graces?"

Ben glared at her and she saw his hand twitch like he wanted to strike her. He held his temper and answered her, "You're not a sacrifice. What kind of people do you think we are?"

"Please, Ben, you can't leave me here. And if you say don't tell me what I can't do I swear I will scream."

Ben was taken back, apparently that was exactly what he was going to say, but then he chuckled and turned for the door.

"What if I help you?"

"In what way?" he asked turning back to face her.

"I know what the crash survivors are planning. If I tell you will you let me go?"

She had his attention, "I'll consider it."

"The tents, Jack has rigged them with dynamite. When your people show up everyone will be gone except for Sayid, Jin, and Bernard. They plan to shoot the dynamite to set it off."

"And where will everyone else be?" Ben said carefully.

"They'll leave this afternoon for the radio tower. Danielle is leading them to it. Except for Charlie and Desmond, they are at the Looking Glass to turn off the blocking device."

"And you know all of this because?"

"I have seen it."

"You're a clever woman Helena; you might turn out to be useful after all." He said turning again for the door.

"Wait, aren't you going to let me go?"

"No." Ben said opening the door. "I'll be back after nightfall, maybe. You should be fine until then." And with that he was gone, the door shut behind him.

"Ben!" Helena screamed, "Please don't leave me here! Oh God, Ben don't leave me here alone!" she screamed until her throat was raw but it was no use, he was gone and she was alone.


	4. Jacob's Cabin

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 4-Jacob's Cabin

"Child, open your eyes", Helena heard through her sleep. She woke slowly but her eyes remained closed. Everything slowly came back to her.

"Helena, open your eyes please." The deep voice asked again.

She remembered where she was, tied up in Jacob's cabin. The voice insisted again.

"If I open my eyes what will I see?" she asked.

There was a pause, "Just an old man sitting in a chair."

"Are you certain?" she asked.

"Aye, child, look for yourself."

Helena opened her eyes and they adjusted to the semi-darkness. It had to be close to late afternoon by now. She looked at the table and saw that the voice was right. There, sitting in the same chair he had been in when Ben and John had visited him, was Jacob.

He didn't look at her, he sat at an angle and she could only see his profile.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

He chuckled, "Shouldn't I be asking you that? You are the one who is wounded."

"Yes, well, I have Ben to thank for that."

"Benjamin has been acting rash lately, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by shooting you."

"How can I see you?"

"I would think it would be obvious. Think Helena, what do you and Benjamin have in common?"

"That we're both going insane? I have to be, to imagine up this place. The detail is amazing."

Jacob chuckled, but still didn't turn to face her. She was beginning to think that he was unable too.

"Helena, you were afraid to come here earlier correct?" he asked.

"Yes." She answered slowly.

"And, as you told Ben, your arm was causing you pain. If this was a place that you imagined, that you dreamt up, why would you be making yourself feel those things? Pain and terror would normally be feelings one would leave out when escaping into a dream world."

"Are you saying that this is real? That I am really on this island and I'm not dead?"

"I can't tell you what may or may not have happened before you came here, but I can tell you that this island is very real."

"What about you, are you real?" Helena asked feeling bold.

"You can see me can't you?"

"That doesn't mean you are real. Besides, I'm not sure if I want you to be real. I saw what Ben did to John after he heard you speak. What do you think he will do to me if he finds out I can hear and see you?"

"What do you mean, what he did to John? What did Ben do?"

"You don't know?" Helena assumed that Jacob would know everything that happened on the island.

"No, as you might have guessed, I am confined at the moment."

"Ben shot John. He took him to the Dharma pit and shot him. He left him there."

Helena saw the muscles in Jacob's jaw clench.

"Why did he do that?" he said more to himself than to her but she answered anyway.

"Because John heard you. You asked him for help and he heard you."

Suddenly the room around Helena began to shake. Helena flashed back to when she was watching the scene unfold between Ben and John in this same cabin. Things began falling off shelves and crashing to the ground. The entire room erupted into chaos. Helena, panicking, looked to Jacob. He sat in his chair, unmoving, as the cabin shook around him. Something heavy flew off a shelf above her and collided with her head. Her vision began to get hazy as she stole one last look at Jacob. He wasn't looking at the corner anymore; he was staring right at her. Helena's blood ran cold at his unblinking gaze and in that moment she knew why she could see him. Then her eyes fluttered closed as everything went black.


	5. Mutual

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 5-Mutual

Someone slapped Helena across the face.

"Wake up." She heard a stern voice say.

She was slapped again.

"Wake up now." The voice demanded.

Helena slowly opened her eyes as she was hit again.

"Damnit Ben, I'm awake. Stop hitting me."

"If you would wake up I wouldn't need to hit you."

"You don't need to hit me at all." She spat at him.

Ben was squatting down in front of her. She was still tied to the rocking chair.

"You came back." She said awkwardly. She felt uncomfortable with him being so close to her.

He must have sensed it because he stood abruptly and moved across the room to shut the door.

Helena stole a glance towards the table and saw that Jacob was no longer sitting in the chair. A quick look around the small room showed her that everything was back in its place. It was like the commotion earlier never happened.

Helena looked back to Ben who was still turned away from her. He was adjusting the lantern in the semi-darkness.

"You shouldn't have given the gun back to Alex."

"Excuse me?" Ben turned to ask.

"You heard me." Helena fumed her face still stinging.

Ben took a chair from the table and sat across from her.

"Explain." He ordered.

Helena rolled her eyes, "The moment Alex heard that you were sending Pryce to the beach early she ran and told Karl who has been hiding nearby."

At the mention of Karl's name Ben's eyes became dark.

"She told him your plans, gave him the gun, and sent him to warn the people on the beach. Why do you think they are leaving early?"

Ben was silent.

"You didn't think she would betray you, did you?"

"No." he answered quietly.

"She suspects you aren't really her father."

"And you?" he asked looking at her, "What do you think?"

"I know you aren't her biological father. But you have raised her; you've been more of a father then anyone else. Besides she wouldn't have been any better off with her mother wandering around the island for sixteen years. Regardless, Alex doesn't trust you anymore and that's something you're going to have to deal with."

"I will." Ben said quickly, "But right now I want to talk about you. I see you were alright here by yourself all alone. Did you discover anything interesting?"

"If you want to ask me something Ben, then just ask it." Helena said.

"Did you hear him?" Ben asked.

"Hear who?"

"Jacob." Ben said impatiently, "Did you here Jacob?"

"No." Helena said stoically.

Ben accepted her answer.

"Did you see him?"

"No."

"Good." Ben said to himself,

"She's lying." Boomed a familiar gravelly voice.

Ben turned to Jacob who was now sitting at the table.

"Shit." Helena said under her breath.

Ben ignored her and moved to Jacob.

"What do you mean she is lying Jacob?"

"Ask her again Benjamin." Jacob told him.

Helena heard every word. She was nearly trembling when Ben came back and stood in front of her.

"Please be honest this time Helena. Did you hear or see Jacob? Better yet, can you now?"

Helena took a deep breath and looked up at him, "No."

"Benjamin, she is lying!" Jacob yelled.

Helena flinched at Jacob's words and Ben noticed.

Ben reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a gun. Helena's heart skipped a beat as he pointed it at her chest.

"What are you going to do Ben?"

Ben shook his head his eyes wild, "You can hear him!"

"She can see me as well!" Jacob yelled again. The room broke into a slight tremor.

"You can see him!" Ben yelled over Jacob.

"No!" Helena screamed, afraid for her life.

"She lies!" Jacob continued in the background. Things were flying off of shelves now.

Helena didn't take her eyes off Ben and the gun. His eyes were desperate.

"Tell me how you can hear him, how you can see him!"

"I don't know! Please stop!" she begged.

"You stop lying Helena. Tell me now!" Ben raged, stepping closer to her.

"She knows!" they heard Jacob chime in the background.

Helena shook her head and Ben jumped forward and grabbed her hair. He pulled her down and jammed the gun to her temple.

"Tell me now." He whispered into her ear.

"I don't know." Helena cried, tears running down her face.

"Then you know what I have to do."

"No!" Helena screamed. "Please don't kill me!"

"But like you said Helena, you're already dead." Ben said as he pushed her away and stood.

"Goodbye Helena."

Helena heard the gun cock. "Please!"

Ben placed the gun at her forehead.

"I killed my father!" Helena screamed.

"What?" Ben asked not removing the gun.

Helena tried to answer between her tears, "My father, I killed him. That's how I can see Jacob."


	6. The Kill

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Ch. 6-The Kill

Helena watched Ben carefully as the room stopped shaking. He had been silent since she revealed her secret about her father. She could see his mind making the connection as he lowered his gun.

"You told me your father killed you, not the other way around."

"I was telling the truth Ben, he did kill me."

"That doesn't make sense Helena."

Helena sighed, "Please sit down and I will explain; you're making me nervous with that gun."

Ben didn't seem sure. He looked to Jacob who nodded his head.

"Listen to her Benjamin."

Ben pulled a chair up and sat down in front of Helena.

"Okay, please explain this to me." He asked quietly.

Helena thought it was curious that he was suddenly so calm.

"I was at home in my room at my parent's house. I heard a gunshot and opened the door to see what was going on."

"That was foolish." Ben said.

"I never said it was a good idea."

"Go on please."

"I made it to the kitchen where I ran into my father. He stood right in front of me, closer than you are now. He didn't say a word. He just shot me. The shot I'd heard earlier was him killing my mother."

"Do you know why he did it?"

"No."

"What happened next?"

"When he shot me I reacted badly. I was shot nearly point blank in my stomach. I should have fallen to the floor, but I didn't. Instead I pulled my fist back and punched him. I don't know where I got the strength for it, for any of it. He didn't expect it so he stumbled backward against the kitchen counter. I grabbed for the gun and tried to wrestle it out of his hands. I was screaming at him by then and I think it must have spooked him because he let go of the gun. I didn't even stop to think; I turned the gun on him and pulled the trigger again and again until the bullets were gone. When I knew he was dead my body knew it too. I fell to the kitchen floor and died."

"Then you came here?"

"Yes." Helena said looking at Ben, "I came here and you shot me."

"I apologize for that." Ben said sincerely.

Helena just stared at him; this new behavior of his was confusing her.

"No tears." Ben said to himself.

"What?" Helena asked.

"Throughout your whole story you didn't cry, you didn't show much emotion. Why is that?"

"I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet."

Ben nodded, "Will you tell me about the characters?"

"The characters? Oh, the characters. I guess I can tell you now."

Ben listened intently as Helena explained about the TV show and all of the other parts of LOST she could think of. He asked her question after question. Some she had answers to, many she did not. Jacob also listened closely to Helena's words. He was so silent Helena began to forget he was there. It was nearly dawn when Ben stood.

"Are you leaving?" Helena worried.

"Yes. I need to get back. I have something very important to take care of."

"You're going to leave me tied up?" she asked as she watched him pick up his bag.

"If I untied you, would you stay here? Would you be here when I come back?" Ben asked with a smirk.

Helena didn't answer him.

"I didn't think so. I'll be back as soon as I can manage. And you won't be alone, Jacob is here."

"But I answered all of your questions."

"And you'll answer more, trust me." Ben said with his hand on the door.

"You're never going to let me go, are you?" Helena said as the true horror of the situation dawned on her.

"You've made yourself far too valuable to let go Helena. I can't risk you falling into unfriendly hands."

"Please Ben."

"I'm sorry Helena, the answer is no." Ben said as he walked through the door and shut it behind him leaving Helena alone again.


	7. Patchy

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Ch. 7-Patchy

The hours ran together as Helena drifted in and out of sleep. Morning came and went and before she knew it night had fallen. Jacob taunted her with his deafening silence. She worked endlessly to free herself from her bonds but it was useless. She began to think she would go crazy before Ben returned.

The cabin was dark with only a sliver of moonlight coming through the window when Helena heard a noise outside. She heard what sounded like something big falling to the ground with a loud thud. Then she heard a man's voice moan in pain.

Helena's pulse quickened. She wondered if it was Ben and he was hurt.

"Ben?" she called to the darkness.

Silence followed.

At least ten minutes passed and Helena began to think that she had imagined the noise. She jumped when something collided with the door making it shake violently.

"Shit." Helena said under her breath and visions of the smoke monster came to her head.

"Jacob?" she whispered looking around, "Do you know what that is?"

She heard him chuckle in the darkness. He wasn't going to be any help.

Helena heard the moaning again as she saw the door handle begin to turn.

"Please be Ben." She prayed to herself and the door flew open and a tall figure staggered into the room. The figure stopped inside the door, saw Helena, and collapsed on the floor.

The man was dressed in black and blended in with the shadows.

"Hello?" Helena said shakily, not knowing if it was a good idea to talk to this person or not. "Are you alive?"

The man didn't answer, Helena wasn't sure if he was able too.

He used what must have been the last of his strength to turn himself over. When his face fell into the light Helena couldn't believe what she saw, it had to be impossible.

"Patchy?"

* * *

"Do you know how he got here?" Jacob asked finally appearing.

She looked at the floor where Mikhail still lay, unconscious.

"No, I never saw the last episode, the finale." Helena answered shaking her head, "Wait, I remember reading something about it. I think he was supposed to go to the Looking Glass. There was something about an explosion and the station flooding."

Helena saw that Mikhail's clothes were still damp and in shreds. She noticed that some places were darker than others. She guessed those dark spots were blood.

"I think he's really hurt Jacob. You don't think he blew up the Looking Glass do you?"

"There was an explosion alright. And aye, he's hurt. If you could see from this side you'd see his hand is nearly gone."

"We need to help him!" Helena said pulling at the ropes around her wrists.

"Why are you suddenly so worried Helena? Why do you care so much about him?" Jacob asked slyly.

"I don't know. I can't just sit here and watch him die."

"You don't have too much of a choice do you? Benjamin made sure of that. I don't think you need to worry about our Mikhail. He is a loyal one, he will be fine."

"You sound very sure of yourself."

Jacob smirked and Helena was reminded of Ben. "Give him a day or two, he just might surprise you."


	8. Loyalty

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Ch. 8-Loyalty

Mikhail did end up surprising her. Helena sat vigil over him all night, refusing to let herself fall asleep. She didn't think he was ever going to wake up, but she let out a sigh of relief every time she saw his chest rise and fall. She watched him for hours. Day and night passed once more and at the next dawn, Mikhail stirred.

Helena leaned forward, "Mikhail?" she called softly as he opened his eye and looked at her.

Helena's heart literally skipped a beat at his gaze. She shook her head trying to remove the thought.

What was wrong with her? Why was she turning into a silly, blushing girl whenever a new man showed up? First there was Ben and now Mikhail; she must be losing it.

"Who are you?" Mikhail asked in his deep Russian accent.

Helena melted.

"Stop it!" she whispered forcefully to herself.

"Stop what?" Mikhail wondered sitting up on the floor.

"Hmm? Nothing. Are you okay?"

"I believe so. You never answered my question." Mikhail pushed.

"My name is Helena." She said trying not to look at him.

"Why are you tied up Helena?"

"Ben seems to think it is necessary to keep me here."

"Is it?"

"Would you choose to remain in a place you were being held captive?"

"Why are you being held captive?" he asked ignoring her question.

"That is a question for Ben. Hold up your hands." Helena said changing the topic.

Mikhail looked at her skeptically.

"Please?"

He nodded and raised both his hands for her to see.

"Oh my God." Helena gasped. Both of Mikhail's hands were intact and uninjured.

"When I first came into the cabin you called me something, Patchy I believe it was, why?"

Helena laughed.

"It's a sort of nickname we have for you."

"We?" he said.

"Long story."

"Why Patchy?"

Helena stared at his patch, "I would think it would be obvious."

Mikhail did not look amused.

"Stop glaring at me like that. It's not meant to offend. It's a term of endearment, really."

Mikhail raised his eyebrow at her as he stood.

Helena looked him over, he was completely healed.

"You should be dead." She said in near awe.

Mikhail chuckled, "I've heard that before."

"Why did you come here?" she asked.

"I need to speak with Jacob." He answered looking around the cabin.

At the mention of his name Jacob appeared in his chair and winked at Helena. Mikhail looked right at the chair and didn't see Jacob.

"Tell him you can see me." Jacob ordered.

Helena shook her head ignoring him.

"Helena, tell him!" Jacob's voice boomed through the cabin. Mikhail showed no notice of the noise.

"No!" Helena yelled back without thinking.

Mikhail turned to look at her, "Who are you talking to?"

"You, who else?"

"Don't lie to me Helena." Mikhail said taking a step towards her.

Helena was feeling a strong sense of déjà vu, seeing as she'd already been through this same thing with Ben.

"Tell him!" Jacob yelled again and this time Helena's eyes darted to the chair he sat in.

Mikhail noticed.

"Can you see Jacob?" he asked quietly.

Helena nodded slowly.

"Can you speak with him?"

"Yes. Can you?" she asked.

"No." he answered.

"How were you going to speak with him?"

"I may not be able to hear him, but he can hear me. Will you translate, please?"

"Alright. You want to ask him about Ben don't you? You don't know if you can trust him or not."

Mikhail sat down in the chair across from her and leaned over resting his elbows on his knees.

"Benjamin has been acting erratic lately, out of control. I need to know if he is still loyal to Jacob."

Helena looked at Jacob for an answer.

"Benjamin has lost his way but he is still loyal to this island and is doing everything he can to protect it."

Helena relayed Jacob's words to Mikhail.

"I would be cautions in following his orders right now." Helena suggested.

"Did Jacob tell Benjamin to block the Looking Glass and keep that information from us?" Mikhail asked.

Helena waited a moment before answering with Jacob's words, "He told him to block the transmissions, but not to lie to everyone about it."

Mikhail nodded his head, "I thought as much." He stood and walked to Helena's side and began to untie the ropes that bound her hands.

"What are you doing?" she asked noting how close he was to her.

"I would think it would be obvious." He mocked using her words from earlier.

"You're letting me go?"

"I'm only untying you. You will remain here in the cabin with me."

Helena swallowed, "With you?"

"Yes. Benjamin is keeping you here for a reason and I want to know what it is."

"What if I don't tell you?" Helena said looking at him.

Mikhail smiled and Helena shivered, "You will."


	9. Free

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 9-Free

Helena told Mikhail everything. He didn't have to yell at her or point a gun at her like Ben did. All he had to do was stare at her intently and she cracked.

More than anything it was the silence that got to Helena. Jacob was forgotten as Mikhail sat in front of her, blocking her path to the door. He sat unmoving, barely blinking that blasted eye of his. Helena cradled her raw wrists and watched him. Her mind was full of the various techniques he could employ to make her talk.

She knew he was a dangerous man. Perhaps not as dangerous as Ben. Ben had a desperation that made him unpredictable. Mikhail didn't seem so desperate but he was still a threat.

* * *

"That is a very interesting story Helena." Mikhail said when she had finished.

"It's not a story, it's real." She said tiredly looking at him.

"Of course it is." He replied while standing up.

"You don't believe me?"

"Helena, you just told me that your father shot you, then you shot him, and then you were magically transported here. And let's not forget that you are really dead. No, I believe that you believe what you are saying to be real."

"Don't start talking in riddles to me Mikhail." Helena said standing up quickly.

Mikhail caught her as she fell to the floor.

"Helena?"

"The room is spinning."

"When was the last time you ate or drank something?" he asked with worry.

"Before I died."

"You mean Benjamin hasn't given you anything? You've been here for days."

Helena didn't answer him. She was drifting to sleep in his arms.

"Helena, I am going to get you something to drink. You must be dehydrated. I will be back soon."

Helena nodded and closed her eyes to the welcoming darkness.

* * *

When Helena woke she was being held by those strong arms again. In her sleep haze she realized that being in Mikhail's arms felt good, made her feel safe. Some small voice in the back of her mind told her to stop thinking things like that. It wouldn't do her any good to lose her head over some handsome Russian.

"Drink please." Mikhail said holding a cup of water to her lips.

Helena took the cup and drank deeply.

"Thank you." She said sitting up.

"You're welcome." Mikhail said watching her closely. "I can't believe Benjamin left you here without food or water. You could have died."

"I'm not so sure that my dying would bother Ben so much. He has bigger problems right now."

"It still is not right."

"I know. But I also know what he is up against."

Mikhail shook his head, "Are you defending him?"

"No." Helena claimed, "Well, not really. I can just see it from both sides you know? Yes, he is an ass for tying me up and leaving me here, not to mention shooting me."

"He shot you?"

"Yes, but he apologized for it."

"Did he have a good reason?"

"He wanted to find out if I was real or not."

"And you forgave him?" Mikhail wondered looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"What other choice did I have Mikhail? Until you showed up I thought I was going to die in this cabin while Jacob watched and laughed. Who knows what Ben is going to do next? I'll do whatever I need to do to stay on his good side. I may have already died once, but it seems I have been given a second chance and I will be damned if I waste it by getting killed again!" Helena said forcefully.

"Very well, calm down." Mikhail said with a small smile.

"Don't you dare laugh at me."

"I'm not laughing at you Helena. I admire your willfulness. Believe me; I know what it is like to think you are dead only to wake up to another chance."

"I guess you do. Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" he asked.

"When John pushed you into the fence. It looked pretty bad. And you said "thank you", did you really think you were going to die?"

"Yes. I know what the fence can do."

"And you were ready for it?"

"This island is important Helena. I was willing to die to protect it, yes."

"Was? Are you not willing anymore?"

"I'm growing tired of dying only to come back to life."

"Will you tell me what happened at the Looking Glass?"

Mikhail looked at her for a long time before answering, "One day possibly, but not today. Today I am taking you outside."

"Outside?" Helena asked her face lighting up.

"I think you could use some fresh air, don't you?"

Helena nodded and took Mikhail's hand which pulled her up from the floor. "What about Ben? If he sees me out of the cabin he will kill me."

"Don't worry; I will be able to hear him coming."

Helena looked at the door hesitantly.

"Do you trust me Helena?" Mikhail asked.

Helena didn't have an answer yet for him. So instead she nodded her head and followed him out the door.


	10. Return

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 10-Return

Helena felt better the next day after Mikhail had found some food for the both of them. She didn't like having to rely on him but he was really her only option and she was grateful.

"Thank you." She told him one night as they were sitting outside the cabin. It was a beautiful night and for once Helena's horrible situation wasn't the foremost thing on her mind. She was able to relax, if just a little, with Mikhail beside her.

"For what?" he asked turning his gaze to her.

"For everything." Helena answered looking up at the stars through the trees. "For untying me, finding me food, for not shooting me." Helena smiled.

Mikhail laughed, "You're welcome Helena. Thank you for telling me the information I needed to know and helping me speak with Jacob."

"Have you decided what you are going to do now?" she asked him.

"I need time to consider everything. I don't believe I can follow Ben's path any longer. His is no longer the right way. What about you Helena? Are you ready to cut your own way on this island?"

"Knowing what I know about this place, this island terrifies me. I doubt I could survive one night alone out there. Not to mention the war brewing between your people and the ones who crashed on the plane. And when you throw DHARMA into the mix; this is not a safe place to be right now."

"DHARMA? What do you mean?"

"The woman you helped in the jungle, who fell from the helicopter. The people on her ship are most likely DHARMA. They're on their way."

"Do you know what they plan?" Mikhail asked intently.

"No, I don't. But I doubt it's good."

Mikhail was silent for a few moments as he watched her. His inspection was beginning to make her self-conscious when he turned away.

"I will have to leave soon." He said, "Before Ben returns. Will you remain here or will you come with me?"

"You want me to come with you?" Helena asked surprised.

"Yes." He answered simply.

"Why?"

Mikhail looked out into the jungle, a puzzled look on his face, "I don't know yet."

Helena was about to say something in reply when they heard a noise in the jungle. Leaves continued to rustle as Mikhail leapt up.

"It is Benjamin. We must leave." He said reaching down to help her up.

Once Helena was standing he turned and began to hurry away from the noise into the jungle.

Helena did not move from her spot.

Mikhail noticed she wasn't behind him and stopped.

"What are you doing?" he whispered to her.

Helena shook her head, "I'm sorry."

Mikhail looked shocked that she was picking Ben over him. But within seconds his look of hurt was replaced with indifference.

"Very well. Goodbye Helena."

Then he was gone. Helena had to admit she wasn't happy to see him go.

* * *

Helena turned toward to noise and began to move towards it. Not once did she doubt that it wasn't Ben. She had faith in Mikhail to be aware of everything around him.

"Ben?" she called.

At his name he stumbled out into the jungle.

"Helena." He rasped falling to his knees.

Helena ran to him and helped him up. He could barely walk and was covered in dried blood. She used all of her strength to drag him to the cabin.

Once inside she lost her footing and they both fell to the dusty cot Helena meant for Ben.

Ben groaned in pain as Helena scrambled off of him.

"I'm sorry Ben! My God, what happened to you?" she said really looking at him.

"I had a talk with Jack." He wheezed.

"It must not have gone very well." Helena said as she went to the pail of water Mikhail had brought in. She grabbed a rag and wet it.

"DHARMA is coming. I tried to warn him but he wouldn't listen."

"I figured. Jack's been bullheaded and self-righteous since the first episode." She said as she kneeled next to Ben and began to wash the blood off of his face.

"You look horrible." She said as he watched her closely.

Helena continued in silence with Ben never taking his eyes from her.

Suddenly his hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, gripping it painfully.

"Ben, what's wrong?" she asked, panicked.

He glared at her through hooded eyes, "Who untied you?"


	11. Why

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 11-Why

Helena was shaking violently when Ben asked her again, "Who untied you?"

"You're hurting my wrist Ben." Helena said trying to pull away from him.

"I don't care. Answer me." He raised his voice, tightening his grip.

"No one untied me. I freed myself."

"How?"

"You left me alone for days. I worked at the ropes until they came loose." The lie came easily to Helena. Something inside her told her it wasn't a good idea to let Ben know Mikhail had been with her. Something made her want to protect him.

Ben released her and fell back onto the cot; for the time believing her.

Helena glanced to Jacob's chair. He wasn't there and Helena sighed with relief. She had been sure he would expose her lies to Ben.

Helena picked the rag up from the floor and cautiously approached Ben's side. When it seemed like he wasn't going to grab her again, she resumed cleaning his face.

* * *

Ben stayed in bed for three days at Helena's insistence. He was still weak from his trek across the jungle. Helena tended to the numerous cuts on his face the best she could with the limited resources of the cabin. It was obvious that Ben wasn't going to remarkably heal like Mikhail had. It was going to take time.

Helena was sitting in the rocking chair one afternoon staring into space when Ben's voice brought her back to the cabin.

"Why did you stay?"

"What?" Helena asked not realizing what he was talking about.

"You freed yourself; you could have left the cabin. You could have disappeared before I returned. So why are you still here?"

Helena thought for a moment, "I don't know Ben."

Since Helena hadn't been expecting him, Jacob's voice startled her.

"She stayed because of you Benjamin." He said appearing in his chair.

"What does he mean Helena?" Ben asked her as he sat up on the cot.

"Who knows? Ask him." Helena said with a cold feeling in her stomach that she didn't understand.

"Jacob?" Ben said turning towards him.

"She had the chance to leave but she stayed because she didn't want to leave you."

"Does she think I am going to protect her?"

"No, she holds interest in you for an entirely different reason. Hers is honest and true, unlike your own interest in her Benjamin."

Ben looked at Helena, "He means I am using you."

"I know what he means."

Ben chuckled, "Well Helena, I had no idea you felt this way about me."

"Those are Jacob's words, not mine." She said refusing to look at either one of them.

"Your thoughts mine as well be the same. Jacob knows far more about you than you realize."

"Does he now?" Helena said wishing he would stop talking.

"Yes." Ben regarded her, "I may have to rethink my plans for you."

Helena was certain she didn't want to know what he meant.

* * *

After spending nearly a week in the cabin with Ben, Helena was starting to wish she had gone with Mikhail. Ben was driving her crazy. He barely spoke to her. Half of the time he paced the cabin like a mad man; always deep in thought. The other half he spent with his chair next to Jacob, whispering furiously to him.

Then, one morning he told her he was going to take a walk and would be back later.

Before she could even reply he told her not to leave the cabin and was gone.

Helena watched him from the window and when he left her sight she ran to Jacob's chair.

"Jacob?" she said kneeling in front of his empty chair. "Please, I need to talk to you."

"Yes child?" he said showing himself.

"Can you tell me what he is planning?"

"No."

"You can't or you won't?"

"I won't."

Helena sighed in frustration, "Why didn't you tell him about Mikhail?"

"Mikhail has a new purpose that no longer involves Benjamin. Alerting him to his presence would only hinder Mikhail."

"So you won't tell Ben he is still alive?"

"No, I won't."

Helena sat back, relieved. "Do you know where Mikhail is? Is he okay?"

Jacob chuckled, "Poor, poor Helena. You worry for Mikhail and you worry for Benjamin. Will your mind not let you decide? Or perhaps it is your heart that is confusing you?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Helena stressed; her face heating.

"You do, and one day you will be forced to choose between them. You will have to make a decision and trust me Helena, it will be difficult."

"What if I can't decide?" Helena asked hopelessly.

"You will find that you have no choice."

Helena looked away.

"Take heart child, you're strong. You've already come back from death; surely you can handle a love triangle."

"Love?" Helena asked in surprise.

"Aye, it will come to that, from all sides."

"I can't picture myself ever loving Ben, or him me for that matter."

"Give him time, he will prove you wrong."

"But do I want him to?"

"You prefer Mikhail?"

"I don't know. I've just met them both. Why do I have to pick one? Can't I choose neither and be by myself?"

"Dear Helena, you of all the people on this island will need a companion." Jacob said reaching out and placing a warm hand on her shoulder. "Your fate lies between Benjamin and Mikhail."


	12. Prison

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 12-Prison

"Get up quickly, we're leaving." Ben said giving Helena a shake.

Helena opened her eyes, "What are you talking about?"

"We need to leave, right now." Ben said as he gathered various items from around the cabin and put them into the bag he carried.

"Where are we going?" Helena said sitting up from the cot.

"I shall tell you later. Are you ready?"

"I guess so." Helena answered following Ben out of the cabin.

* * *

They walked for hours without Ben saying a word to Helena. She asked him question after question but he ignored her. If she had been braver she would have stopped following him and run off into the jungle on her own. As it turned out, she was not brave, so she continued after him. She knew what was coming. She knew she would find out soon what he had been planning; what Jacob would not tell her about.

When Helena thought she couldn't walk another step Ben stopped suddenly.

"Rest." He said to her without turning around.

Helena sat down, "Ben, talk to me please."

"And why should I talk to you Helena? So you can tell me more lies?"

Helena looked up at him sharply, "What do you mean?'

"I know that you weren't able to untie yourself. I know that someone was with you in the cabin. The evidence was everywhere. Do you think me a fool Helena?"

"Of course I don't. You think someone else was in the cabin, so why didn't you say anything sooner? Why drag me out here?"

Ben moved closer to her and gave her a look that terrified her, "I didn't say anything because I was deciding what to do with you. I knew you were going to be valuable from the start but I didn't realize how much trouble you could also cause."

"Have you decided then?"

Ben smiled, "I have."

"Well?"

"Not far from here there is a cabin." Ben said motioning towards the jungle. "It is much like Jacob's, maybe a little bigger and well kept. In that cabin, sweet Helena is where you will spend the rest of your days on this island."

"You mean you want me to live there?"

"Yes, you will live there."

"By myself?" Helena asked standing up.

"Mainly, yes. Knowing how you feel about me I will, of course, be around from time to time. We wouldn't want you to get too lonely would we?"

"I don't feel anything for you." Helena said quickly, maybe too quickly.

Ben chuckled, "As you wish Helena. You may think whatever you want. Come," he said motioning to her, "we're nearly there."

They continued to walk and Helena thought that living in the cabin might not be so bad. She would have her own place to live, which was better than a large number of other people on the island had. And she wouldn't have to see Ben very often. Maybe Mikhail could even visit as well.

"We're here." Ben said as they entered a large clearing. Helena saw that there was a large yard in front of the small, but cozy cabin.

"It looks like something out of a story book." Helena said out loud.

"I'm glad you like it." Ben said for the first time giving her a genuine smile.

Helena was moving closer to the cabin when she happened to look at the ground around her feet. In front of her she saw a thick line of ash running along the ground. Helena followed its path and saw that it traveled around the large yard and cabin.

"No." Helena said taking a step back.

But Ben was directly behind her blocking her way. She tried to move back more but was stopped by his, once again, surprisingly strong form.

"Move forward Helena." He whispered softly into her ear.

She turned her head slightly at the sound, "You lied to me."

"No, I'm not the liar here. I told you I had a place for you to live. Here it is."

"If I step over that line, will I ever be able to leave this place?"

"You already know the answer don't you? You knew it when you saw the same type of line circling Jacob's cabin."

"Why are you doing this?"

Ben ran his index finger up Helena's arm, "Because I can't trust you to stay where I tell you to. Because you lied to me. Because your puzzling feelings for me intrigue me."

"So you imprison me?"

Ben grabbed her arm and swung her around painfully, "Use caution Helena. I am being generous. If you prefer I could lock you in a cell. Do you want that?"

Helena shook her head, tears coming to her eyes.

Ben saw them and smirked, "Now, now, don't cry. Come, you will feel better once you have seen your new home up close."

"Ben, please don't do this." Helena pleaded.

"My dear," Ben said, "it's already been done."

Ben began to drag her towards the black line on the ground.

"No!" she screamed, clawing at his arms. Fighting back was useless, but she did it anyway.

"Help!" she screamed hoping someone was anywhere near them in the jungle.

"No one can hear you Helena." Ben said. He was dragging her across the ground now as she struggled.

Helena cried and fought and did all she could to stay away from the line, but in the end Ben had his way. He pulled her across it and continued to drag her to the cabin. He almost had her through the door when she grabbed the frame and prayed to the island, "Please someone help me!"

* * *

Miles away, on the other side of the island Mikhail stopped in his tracks. There was a strange voice on the air and it put a cold feeling in his stomach. Mikhail turned back the way he had come and began to run. 


	13. Crazy

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 13-Crazy

"You are a horrible man." Helena said while glaring at Ben.

"Possibly." Ben said his ever present smirk on his face.

Helena ran for the barrier again. When she reached it, it was like she hit a brick wall. She flew back onto the ground.

"You can try all day long dear; it will never let you through."

"I'm not your dear; stop calling me that." Helena said pushing herself up from the ground.

"You love me." Ben stated.

"No, I loathe you." Helena fumed.

"Funny how similar those two words are."

Ben turned to the cabin and walked slowly towards it, "Come along Helena. We have much to discuss."

Rebelling against him, Helena stayed outside for another half hour. She knew he was watching her from the window. Finally, she stormed inside.

"Please sit down." He said, motioning her towards a chair. Helena took a moment to look around the cabin. It was clean and comfortably decorated.

"Why is this place out in the middle of the jungle?" she asked sitting down.

"It belonged to someone I knew a long time ago. She used to live here, just like you will."

"Who was she?"

Ben sat down across from her, "Her name was Annie."

"Did you keep her trapped here as well?"

"No, she could come and go as she liked."

Helena nodded understanding, "You loved her."

Ben's eyes narrowed, "Why do you say that?"

"She gave you the doll you carry with you. And since she lived here that means you spared her from the purge. You killed your own father but you wanted her to live. You were in love with her."

"My father was a fool. Just as yours was for killing you and your mother. We both did what was necessary to survive."

"You seem to forget that I wasn't very successful with that."

"You may have perished in your world Helena, but you came here for a purpose."

"What is that purpose Ben? How much am I really going to accomplish while I'm being held prisoner in this cabin?"

Ben sighed, "Helena, I wish that you would begin to look at this situation differently. We can live together quite comfortably if you rid yourself of this animosity towards me."

"Live together? Are you insane? You said nothing about living together; you only said you would be around from time to time."

"I will have to leave intermittently, yes, but other than that I will be here, with you."

"So, what is this? Are you setting up your own "happy family" Ben? What kind of relationship do you think we are going to have?"

"All in due time, Helena, all in due time."

"You are crazy."

"You keep telling me that."

"Well, you're proving me right. Did Jacob tell you to do this? Did he tell you what was going to happen?"

"No, I thought of this on my own. You can give me a little credit. Though he did put the thought in my head when he told me that you were developing feelings for me."

Helena threw her hands up in the air, frustrated.

"You don't understand them do you? That is why you are so agitated."

"What don't I understand?"

"What you are feeling. Your emotions are conflicting. You can't decide what you feel."

"How could I even begin to love you Ben? After everything you've done to me? You shot me, tied me up and left me to die in Jacob's cabin, and now you've gone and trapped me here. So far you've proven yourself to be monster. How do you expect me to feel?"

"I can't begin to understand you completely Helena. But I can tell you one thing. I understand what it is like to begin falling for someone when you know you shouldn't. When you don't even want to." Ben said sincerely.

Helena stared at him, afraid to ask her next question, "How do you understand that Ben?"

Ben looked into her eyes, "Because you, Helena, have been on my mind constantly ever since you showed up on this island. Even when I went to meet Jack, when the fate of the entire island was at stake, my thoughts were of you sitting in Jacob's cabin. I wondered if you were all right, if you were safe enough. And then, when they captured me I worried that I wouldn't get back to you in time. I knew that if I didn't find a way to escape you would die in that cabin."

"But Jacob." Helena began.

"Jacob wouldn't have been able to do anything to help you. If you hadn't noticed, he is unable to leave his chair."

"But, you've been so callous towards me."

"I've been frustrated myself Helena. Do you think I like the idea of falling for you? I think even the tern is ridiculous, but all the same here I am doing just that. You could not have shown up at a worse time. This island is about to become very dangerous."

"Don't try to tell me you have locked me in here to protect me."

"No, the line will only keep you in. Others may come and go as they please."

"Why do you think I would leave you? I stayed at Jacob's cabin, waiting for you. Do you not trust me to do the same here?"

Ben looked away, "No, I don't."

"How am I supposed to love you if you don't trust me?"

"Do you trust me completely Helena?" Ben asked turning her own question on her.

"No, I suppose I don't. I barely know you."

"Helena, you know me far more than I know you. You have your precious television show to thank for that."

"Fine Ben. So what are we going to do?"

"We are going to just, be. We will live and we will talk. With any luck we will get to know each other more and you will be able to resist the urge to tear my throat out."

Helena smiled despite herself, "With any luck."

Ben grew silent and watched her. Slowly he stood up and walked over to her. He offered a hand and pulled her out of the chair.

He stood looking down at her for a long time. Helena noticed how close they were to each other and her pulse quickened.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly.

Ben moved closer, "I want to try something."

Without any more warning he closed the distance between them and brought his mouth down to hers in a soft but lingering kiss.

When he did pull away Helena found her head was swimming. She looked up at Ben who was smirking down at her.

"Damn you."


	14. Fool

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 14-

Helena lay next to Ben on the bed; her head resting on his bare chest. He had one arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close.

She was a fool for sleeping with him and she knew it. After he had kissed her she was unable to think clearly. She didn't resist as he led her to the bed. They had been quick, frenzied, and they made love. They clung to each other as if they would never see each other again.

And now Helena lay in his arms watching him sleep.

She was confused.

She didn't love him; that much she knew. In fact, at the moment, she didn't even like him very much. But whenever he came around her it was like another side of her took over. This side of her didn't care that Ben was a monster who continually did horrible things to her. This side saw past all of that to the man Ben was. And Helena had to admit that man was drawing her in.

Ben stirred in his sleep and Helena glances up at him.

He smiled, "Good morning."

"Morning." Helena said lying her head back down.

"Last night was enjoyable."

Helena sighed. Of course he would want to talk about it."I would say it was unexpected." She replied.

"Don't be coy Helena."

"I don't think I have ever been described as coy Ben." Helena laughed.

They fell silent for a while.

"You're uncomfortable with this aren't you?" Ben asked.

"Oh yeah, you have no idea."

"I see." Ben said pushing her off of him and sitting up. He grabbed his pants off the floor and put them on hurriedly.

"Ben." Helena said sitting up.

"Yes, Helena?"

"What are you doing?"

He didn't turn around, "I have things to do. I can't lay around here all day wasting my time on you."

"Stop this Ben. I didn't mean what I said in that way. You're acting like a child."

Ben rounded on her, "You are the child Helena. Why, you're barely twenty-five years old."

Helena jumped off the bed and stomped around it to face him. In her anger she forgot to grab the sheet to cover herself.

So she stood in front of him naked and yelled, "Is that what you were thinking last night Ben? Did you think me a child then?"

Ben looked at her, his eyes raking over her body, "No, I did not see a child last night and I don't see one now." He finished reaching for her.

Helena slapped his hands away, "Oh give me a break!"

Helena looked around the floor and found her clothes. She pulled them on; ignoring Ben whose eyes never left her.

"I was beginning to think that I misjudged you. That you weren't such an asshole, but you have proved me wrong yet again."

"I never claimed to be a nice man Helena."

"You're right, of course it must be my fault for assuming." She said her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Are you through with your fit?"

"Are you? You were the one about to storm out of here." She said walking out the front door.

Ben followed her, "I was only leaving because you said you were uncomfortable."

"So instead of leaving peacefully, you decide to pick a fight? What is wrong with you?"

Ben just looked at her.

Helena sighed giving in, "How long are you going to be gone?"

"Two, maybe three weeks."

"Where are you going?"

For once Ben didn't withhold information from her; he gave it freely, "To the temple. Richard was to lead everyone there; I should catch up to them. Plans need to be re-evaluated."

Helena sat down on a chair on the front porch. She debated telling him what she knew.

"What is wrong Helena?" he asked standing next to her.

"I need to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I need you to promise me that you won't be angry with me." She said looking up at him. She wondered briefly why he always positioned himself so she would have to look up to him.

"I will do nothing of the sort." He scoffed.

"Fine. Go on to the temple then. Have a great walk."

"Helena." Ben warned.

"Don't you try to intimidate me. If you're not going to play fair I see no reason why I should."

"You're withholding information from me is not a good choice Helena."

"Oh, and what are you going to do Ben? Lock me up? Wait, you already did that. What's next, are you going to torture me?"

Ben stared her down. Helena was watching his eyes so intently that she didn't notice his hand move until he had slapped her hard across the face.

Helena was shocked, truly shocked as she brought her own hand up to her cheek. She couldn't believe Ben had just hit her.

"Did you really just hit me?" she asked standing up.

"You were being a nuisance." He said matter-of-factly.

Helena just shook her head amazed at his indifferent attitude.

"So, I'm annoying you? I'm might as well make the best of it then." Helena pulled her arm back and let it fly forward, punching Ben solidly in the jaw.

"Get off of my porch."

"That was a stupid move Helena."

"Go to hell Ben." She said as she strode inside the cabin and grabbed his bag. She walked back onto the porch and threw it at him.

"Leave."

Ben was smiling, "You'll pay for that, you can be sure."

"Whatever Ben, enjoy the temple. I hope you end up rotting there."

Ben made his way for the barrier, "I'll be back sooner that you think. The time will fly. Goodbye dear." He called over his shoulder as he walked out of her sight.

* * *

It took three hours for Helena to calm down enough to even think straight. She wondered why Ben had the ability to make her so furious. She decided to take a walk outside to clear her head.

Helena walked around the circle made by the ash. She didn't know how Ben made it work to imprison both her and Jacob. She wished there had been something mentioned on the show, but they had never gotten to that point.

Helena was behind the cabin when she heard a man's voice coming from the front.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" it called.

Helena crept cautiously around the house. She leaned past the wall and saw who belonged to the voice. She broke out in a run for him.

"Mikhail!" she yelled getting his attention.

He stood at the edge of the clearing about ten feet past the barrier.

"Helena?" he said turning to her.

Helena stopped just short of the barrier so she wouldn't be thrown back.

"Did anyone see you?" she asked.

"I don't believe so." He said walking to the line of ash.

Helena wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, but she knew she was unable.

"Did Benjamin bring you here?" he wondered.

"Yes." She answered, "Mikhail, why are you here?"

Mikhail looked at her, "I came for you Helena; I came to save you."


	15. Stay

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 15-Stay

"How do you know I need saving?" Helena asked Mikhail.

"A feeling." He shrugged. "I shouldn't be surprised; you seem to be the type of woman who constantly needs rescuing."

"Before I came here I was never in need of a hero. I was perfectly fine on my own."

Mikhail chuckled, "Then you arrived here; this island is an entirely different entity."

Helena rolled her eyes.

"What has Benjamin done to you?" Mikhail asked taking a step closer.

Helena raised her hand and placed it flat against the barrier across from her. "I can't cross this line." She said pointing to the ash on the ground.

"Are you serious?"

Helena took a few steps back and ran at the barrier. She hit it with a thud and fell onto her back.

Mikhail looked at her lying on the ground and began to laugh.

"What are you laughing at? You asked if I was serious."

"You could have just said yes." He said as he crossed the line and kneeled next to her.

Helena held her breath, waiting to see if anything would happen to him. When nothing did she sighed and lay back on the ground. It appeared Ben had been telling the truth about the line being meant only for her.

Mikhail brushed her hair away from her face, "Do you know why Benjamin did this?"

"Oh, I have a pretty good idea."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"Very well, later then. Let's get you into the cabin before you harm yourself again." He said as he scooped her up into his arms.

"Mikhail! I can walk, put me down."

"No. You hit the barrier hard. You could have a concussion."

"You know that I don't."

"Helena?"

"What?" she asked in a huff.

"Please be quiet." He smiled as he carried her over the threshold of the door.

* * *

"What have you been doing since you left?" Helena asked once Mikhail had tossed her onto the bed.

Mikhail was looking around the cabin. "This is nicer than Jacob's cabin, nicer than the Flame even."

"It's still a cage regardless of how pretty it is. Why are you avoiding my questions?"

"You have things you do not wish to discuss, so do I."

"Fair enough." Helena relented.

"That line of ash," she began again, "do you know of a way to remove it?"

Mikhail sighed, "I'm sorry Helena; I do not. Benjamin has been using it to keep Jacob secluded for years and now it seems he has turned it on you. I wish I knew how it worked so I could look for a way to undo it. Your best hope now is asking Benjamin to let you out."

Helena snorted, "For some reason I doubt that is going to happen."

Mikhail sat down on the other side of the bed, "Why not?"

"I am right where Ben wants me. He wants me locked up here so I can't get away from him. So I'm here whenever he feels like coming to use me."

Mikhail grew quiet then asked, "What does he want to use you for?"

"You know what Mikhail." Helena said looking away ashamed.

"You have slept with him?" Mikhail asked not believing.

Helena left the bed to stand by the window, "Yes."

"How could you?" roared Mikhail bolting from the bed.

Helena turned around startled at his outburst. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" he repeated. "You are what is wrong, Helena! Ben has done nothing but harm you in the short time you have been on this island. Then he traps you here and as a reward you sleep with him? What sick hold does he have on you?"

"It wasn't like that Mikhail!" Helena cried.

"Then explain it to me. Why would you lay with such a man?"

Helena desperately wanted to explain her actions to Mikhail but found that she couldn't. She didn't quite understand them herself.

"Well Helena? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Helena had been trying to stay calm while Mikhail had been yelling at her but she had never been one to act gracefully under pressure, so she cracked. "Why do I have to explain myself to you Mikhail? Since when do I answer to you? Last I checked; you were the one under Ben's thumb so I wouldn't be too quick to point fingers."

"I was following orders." Mikhail said; quick to defend himself.

"Yeah, from a mad man."

"You are sleeping with that mad man!"

"Why does that bother you so much Mikhail?" Helena asked moving forward to poke him in the chest, "Why are you so concerned?"

"Because Benjamin is not the man for you!" Mikhail all but bellowed looking down at her.

"What did you say?" Helena said.

"He is not for you." Mikhail whispered raising his hand to caress Helena's cheek.

Helena could hear the desperation in his voice. The conversation she had with Jacob came back to her.

"_Love?"_

"_Aye, it will come to that, from all sides."_

"_Your fate lies between Benjamin and Mikhail."_

"Why did you stay?" Mikhail asked, still whispering. "Why did you stay with him when you could have come with me?"

"I can't leave him." Helena said tears finally coming to her eyes.

Mikhail's body stiffened. "Fine, I will leave." He said turning away.

"No!" Helena yelled pulling him back. "You can't leave!"

"I must."

"Please Mikhail, don't leave me." Helena pleaded as she wrapped her arms around Mikhail and held him tightly. She placed her head on his chest and could hear his heart beating, "Please stay with me."

"But you want Benjamin."

"I want you Mikhail. Can't that be enough for right now?"

Mikhail hesitated.

"I'm not letting you go." Helena said firmly.

"You know I could force you to let me go?"

"I'll take the chance."

Mikhail sighed, "I will stay, but only for tonight." He said slowly brining his arms up to encircle her.

Helena smiled; feeling content back in the arms of the man who had the ability to make her feel safe in this dangerous place.


	16. Content

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 16-Content

Mikhail did stay with her the night, and the next, and the next. They settled into a comfortable routine with one another. It was amazing how content they were to just be in each other's company.

Helena could tell he was holding back from her. She knew his feelings for her were growing just as her own were for him. But no matter how much she tried to persuade him he would do nothing but hold her in his arms. It was on these nights, when they sat together in silence that Helena began to feel foolish for sleeping with Ben. The way Ben had made her feel was a faint memory. She asked herself constantly why she would want Ben when she had a man like Mikhail by her side. Mikhail was unlike any man she had ever known. Seeing him on LOST she had thought him to be sly and cunning. He'd fit perfectly with Ben and the Others. But now that she was beginning to see the real man she was finding that Jacob had been right about one thing; she was falling in love with Mikhail.

* * *

It was late afternoon and Mikhail had stretched out on top of the bed for a nap. Helena sat next to him watching him sleep. This perfect man was lying on her bed; it should have been a dream come true. But it wasn't. She had messed everything up before she even knew what was happening. She had ruined everything by giving in to Ben.

"Is something wrong?" Mikhail asked opening his eye.

Helena smiled down at him, "No, why do you ask?"

"You looked upset."

"I'm fine." She said lying down next to him.

"You're lying to me again." He said putting an arm around her shoulder.

"I don't want to talk about anything unpleasant right now. I just want to lay here with you."

"Alright, but you know we will need to discuss it sometime."

"I know."

* * *

They were happy for three long weeks. Somehow Helena managed to avoid discussing anything that would put their happiness in jeopardy. They spent their days talking to each other and finding things out about one another. Helena told Mikhail about her childhood and how it had been a happy one. She told him how when she grew older her father withdrew from her and her mother until he only existed in the background of their lives. She told him about her extensive work on her Master's degree in Ancient Literature and how it had all been a waste of time because she was on the island now.

Mikhail told her of when he was a child in Russia. Then he joined the army and found that life was not always kind. He had been telling the truth about wanting to do something good when he was discharged. So he had answered the ad for DHARMA.

"Were they really that bad? Why did they all have to be killed?" she asked one afternoon as they were sitting on a blanket in the backyard.

"They refused to acknowledge the people who already inhabited the island. They did not respect their land or traditions. In the end it cost them everything."

"But you were spared?" she asked tracing his hand with her fingers.

"Yes, it was all thanks to Benjamin. He convinced them that I would be an asset. That I would be loyal."

"And you have been."

"Until you arrived, yes."

Helena sat up, "I am not the one to blame for Ben's downward spiral. That was happening long before I got here."

Mikhail realized what he had said, "I did not mean it like that Helena. Come here please."

Helena nodded and went into his outstretched arms. He held her tight and they sat in peace for a time.

It was Helena who broke the silence, "You said that one day you would tell me what happened in the Looking Glass. Will you tell me now?"

Mikhail sighed, "Are you certain you want to know?"

"Yes. What did Ben tell you to do?"

Mikhail began his story. He began with seeing Desmond on the boat and shooting at him from the shore. Once Desmond dove into the water Mikhail had followed. When he had surfaced he had been surprised to see two women, Greta and Bonnie, who were thought to be off of the island. He climbed out of the water and went straight to radio Ben for directions. He could hear the nerves running through Ben's voice as he reminded him that he had always been loyal to the island. He questioned Ben, asking him why he had lied. He never did receive an answer he believed. So, taking Ben's orders he had gone back to the others.

"I killed them. Greta and Bonnie. They are dead. Charlie Pace as well. I blew a hole in the hatch so it would flood."

Helena's body stiffened at his words."Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you kill them all?"

"Because those were the orders I was given."

Helena pushed away from him, "So you just listened without question? Charlie I can understand. He is one of them; he was putting the island in danger. But Bonnie and Greta? They were your own people Mikhail. Are you just murdered them!"

"But." Mikhail began but Helena cut him off.

"But Ben told you to right? It is okay because Ben is the one who ordered it. Did you even hesitate Mikhail? Did you stop to think that maybe Ben wasn't right after all? Maybe he doesn't know what the hell is going on just like everyone else."

Mikhail looked up at her, hurt evident in his eyes. "I am a soldier. I have been taught to follow orders."

"You aren't a soldier anymore. You are a man who listens to the ravings of a lunatic." Helena said as she stood and began to walk away.

"Helena, please do not do this. Do not push me away."

"You have done this to yourself."

Mikhail followed her, "I care for you Helena, you must know that. Do not turn me away." He pleaded putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I don't know if I can Mikhail. What you have done is shocking."

"What I have done is no worse than anything that Benjamin has done."

"But he is honest about it Mikhail. From him I expect horrible things like this. I had begun to think that you were different, that you weren't like him. I began to see it at Jacob's cabin when you were so kind to me. But, now, I don't know what to think. You are living in Ben's shadow and he is dragging you down with him."

"I don't want to lose you." Mikhail whispered kissing her hair.

"I need time. Time to think about you and Ben; about everything."

"Then I will go."

Helena nodded, "Thank you."

"Helena!" they both heard from the front yard. Just then the skies opened up and rain began to pour from above.

"Shit, its Ben." Helena said in panic looking to Mikhail.

"I will go. He will not see me."

"Okay." Helena said not knowing how to tell him goodbye.

Mikhail began to turn away but suddenly turned back to her. He grabbed her and pulled her close to him. His lips crashed onto hers and Helena could feel his passion coursing through her. It was over within seconds and Mikhail put his lips to her ear.

"I will come back for you." He promised and then turned and crossed the line into the jungle.


	17. Lust

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 17-Lust

Helena walked slowly through the rain to the back door of the cabin. By the time she was inside she was soaking wet. She didn't realize it though; she was left stunned by Mikhail's kiss. She had momentarily forgotten the horrible things he had done in the Looking Glass and was fixated only on the feeling of Mikhail's lips on her own.

"Helena!" she heard Ben yell again and realized he was not in the cabin.

She went to the front door and pulled it open. Ben was standing there dripping wet.

"Why didn't you come in? The door wasn't locked." She asked him.

Ben didn't answer her. He stood there looking at her intently; his eyes covering her body.

He was making Helena feel anxious, "Ben?"

He stepped inside then; closing the door behind him.

Helena began to move into the kitchen but Ben grabbed her and threw her against the closed door.

"What are you..?" Helena began but was unable to finish because Ben's mouth came crashing onto hers. He kissed her hard before pulling back to look at her. He still did not speak. He raised his hands to her neck and for a second Helena thought he meant to strangle her. He smirked at the fear written plainly on her face and moved his hands down. With a sharp tug he ripped her shirt in two. He grasped Helena's wrists and pinned them firmly above her head in his strong grip. He moved to kiss her again and Helena knew what he was wanting.

"Ben, let me go." She begged as his lips burned a path down her collarbone.

He ignored her and with his free hand unsnapped her jeans and pushed them over her hips.

"Please Ben, not like this."

He moved to her mouth again, to shut her up she guessed. Helena knew that she needed to fight him. That if he thought he could treat her like this there was no hope of him ever respecting her. She knew that she should resist more; try to get away from him. But the longer he kissed her, the more faint those thoughts became. She began to forget the past weeks that he had been gone. The weeks she had spent with Mikhail, dear Mikhail. She remembered only their last meeting, when she had slept with Ben for the first time. The passion from that night came back to her violently and she acted on it.

She stopped fighting Ben and kissed him back. She arched against him as he entered her and when he released her wrists she clawed at his back willing him closer. As Ben took her against the door she moaned his name. She realized that the rain must have stopped. She could no longer hear it falling. The only sound was Ben and Helena.

When it was over Ben moved away abruptly brining Helena back to the present; to reality.

She sunk to the floor and tried in vain to pull her torn clothes around her as she began to cry.

"What have I done?" she asked herself.

Ben heard her and knelt beside her, "Darling, why are you crying?"

Helena looked at him, "Are you kidding me? Do you not realize what you just did?"

"I realize I may have been a little overzealous Helena. I missed you while I was gone. I didn't intent to hurt you."

"Well you did Ben. Did you even stop to think about me? I don't appreciate being forced."

"I would hardly call that being forced Helena. You responded to me after only minimal hesitation."

Helena pushed him away, "You expect me to think that you care about me, that you love me? You are not in love Ben, you're in lust."

Helena stood up and walked past him into the bedroom. She opened her dresser and pulled out dry clothes. Ben followed her and went to his own dresser. Helena ignored him as he took off his shirt.

"Stop fighting you feelings Helena. I know you care for me. Give in."

"I wish I didn't feel anything for you. I wish I didn't have to think of you at all. I really wish I could stay mad at you."

"Darling" Ben said moving around the bed and taking her in his arms, "You've forgiven me already then?"

Helena buried her head in his chest, "I've given in to you too much already."

"Is that such a bad thing? Why shouldn't we be happy together?"

Mikhail's face flashed into Helena's mind, "Can anyone be happy on this island?"

Ben ran his hand through her hair, calming her, "We can try."


	18. Benjamin

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 18-Benjamin

"Ben, why are you sleeping with a gun underneath your pillow?" Helena asked holding up a small handgun. She had been making the bed when she had found it.

"For protection." He answered without looking up from his book.

"From who?"

"Whom." He corrected.

"Whatever, answer the question."

"Maybe from you. You seem to be getting the best of me lately. You've caught me off my guard at least twice this week." He teased.

"Well you deserved it. And it's been three times. You must have forgotten yesterday." Helena smiled. Ben was sporting a number of bruises that she had given him. Helena had always had a short temper and being around Ben didn't help it one bit. So whenever Ben did something to make her angry, which was often, she normally ended up taking a swing at him. He had become quick at predicting her intentions over the past few weeks and was able to move out of the way most of the time. But every so often he wouldn't move quick enough and she'd get him.

"Please put the gun back Helena. Just pretend it's not there."

"You just make sure it isn't pointing to my side of the bed." She said replacing the gun.

* * *

Helena studied Ben as he wrote in his journal. It was something he did nearly every night and it fascinated her. She would watch as hundreds of different emotions played across his face as he relived his day. She often wondered what he wrote about her, if he even did, but she never looked. She was afraid she might find the truth.

"Darling, you're staring again. Would you like to go to bed?" he smirked over his glasses.

Helena rolled her eyes, "Ben, just because I look at you doesn't mean I want to have sex with you."

"Pity." Ben shrugged and went back to his journal.

She shook her head at her witty live-in lover. It was true; a large part of their relationship was physical. But Helena knew there was more to it than that. At least there was for her, but she could never figure out how Ben saw things.

Ben removed his glasses and stood, "Helena, come here. I want you to look at something."

Helena walked over to him.

"Sit down please."

Helena sat down in Ben's chair. His journal lay open in front of her.

Ben stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them.

"Helena, I know you believe that my interest in you is based simply on carnal desires. And the way I tease you I can see how it would be easy to believe."

"Ben."

"Wait. Please let me finish. I want you to know that it's not entirely the case. I want you to understand how I feel. I think if you read this page from my journal you might be able to see. I wrote this three nights ago."

"Ben, I don't feel right reading this, it's personal."

"Please Helena."

Helena nodded and turned back to the table, comforted by the light weight of his hands which still rested on her shoulders.

Helena began to read.

_"She's sitting across the room right now. I don't look up but I sense she is watching me. We go through this same routine every night and I'm surprised how much I enjoy it; how content I am._

_I don't need to raise my head to see what she looks like. I can see her in my mind clearly. The fire is reflecting on her long hair, coloring it crimson in the dim light. Her legs are curled up beneath her and she's wrapped her arms around them. At times when I see her like this I see how she is still so much a child, but then she'll turn her eyes to mine and I see the woman she has become._

_She's wearing on old grey sweater of mine, because, despite the fire blazing, she's still cold. Her face is calm and open as she watches me. She's never looked more beautiful."_

Helena felt tears prick her eyes as she reached up to grasp Ben's hand.

_"I find myself wishing that these nights would never end. That I would not need to leave and that we could live here in peace for the rest of our days. Well, as much peace as the two of us can have with our constant bickering. I find it refreshing that she is so quick to argue with me on even the most insignificant things. I've grown used to everyone agreeing with me and following my orders, but she is far different from anyone else on this island. _

_I know she doesn't fully understand her feelings for me, but I believe I am beginning to understand mine for her. I think, in time, I might be willing to give up everything for her; if she asked me too._

_I finally look up and my eyes meet hers. She smiles at me. After everything I've done, all the pain I have caused her, she is still able to look at me and smile. That amazes me._

_I send her a small smile back and look to the paper once more. I have done nothing to deserve her, I know that much. But once clear fact echoes in my head drowning out every other thought; I love her."_

Helena stood up and faced Ben.

He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb, "It's true."

"I don't know what to say."

"No words are required. It's just something I wanted you to see."

"Thank you." Helena said as she wrapped her arms around him.

As Ben pulled her close Helena's mind ran over what she had just read. Ben loved her. A part of her was overjoyed. She was thrilled to learn that Ben wasn't just using her. And she had to admit, if only to herself that she was well on her way to loving him as well.

But the other part of her was far away deep in the jungle with a man who held her heart but refused to share her with another.

Helena closed her eyes and held Ben tighter. She knew she could never let Ben find out about Mikhail.


	19. Don't Leave

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 19-Don't Leave

Ben left the next morning. Helena was upset he was leaving but tried not to show it. She could tell it was hard for him to leave her and she didn't want to make it any worse by making a scene.

"I'll try to be back in two weeks." He promised as he kissed her goodbye. "I love you."

Helena smiled at him through her tears. She watched him walk away until he was out of sight.

* * *

There was only one good thing that would come out of Ben leaving. Mikhail would come back.

Helena was surprised at how badly she wanted to see Mikhail. She had just spent over a month with Ben, the man she was insanely close to loving, but here she was yearning for another man.

"You are a tramp." She told herself out loud. "You're horrible! Stringing along two men like they are toys. Someone is going to end up getting hurt and it very well may be you."

Helena found that she was talking to herself a lot whenever she was alone. She wondered if that was healthy or not.

* * *

It had been two days since Ben left. Helena figured that Mikhail should be arriving soon since it had taken him about that long the last time. She decided to sit on the front porch and wait for him.

It was morning when Helena took her spot on one of the rockers on the porch. By noon she was still waiting. It was nearly dark when a little voice inside her head began to whisper.

"He's not coming." It would say, "He doesn't feel anything for you."

"Maybe he's hurt or he's busy with his mission from Jacob." She argued aloud.

"Silly girl, don't you know? You are his mission from Jacob. But he doesn't want you."

"You're wrong." She said forcefully.

Helena waited through the night and all of the next day. She barely moved from the rocker. She waited and waited, but Mikhail never came.

* * *

Helena cried for days when she gave in to the thought that Mikhail wasn't coming.

"I can't be alone!" she yelled to the walls of the cabin.

In the following days she found out something else that Jacob had been right about, Helena needed a companion. Being alone was driving her insane.

* * *

Helena ran at the barrier. It knocked her back onto the ground. She ran at it again. She was knocked down again. She repeated the process at least four more times before she was unable to get up off of the ground.

She knew she wasn't acting rational but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't even think straight anymore and she has only been alone for a week and a half.

She kept repeating to herself, "Ben will be back soon. Ben will be back soon."

Anything to help her hold onto her sanity a little longer. Far in the back of her mind she knew that something was wrong with her. In her old life she had been by herself all of the time. Weeks would pass without her seeing or talking to anyone. She had actually enjoyed the isolation. But here, this island was doing something to her. She felt she would rather die than be alone.

"Helena?" she heard in a beautiful Russian accented voice.

She sat up quickly, "Mikhail?" She saw him standing right outside of the barrier.

"Oh God, Mikhail!" she cried and ran to the edge.

"What has happened to you?" he asked taking in her disheveled appearance.

"I, um. It's hard to explain. I'm so happy to see you. Please, come in." she all but begged him.

Mikhail shook his head, "I'm not coming in Helena."

She panicked, "What? Why?"

"I heard you with him." He answered; his voice hardening.

"Who?"

"With Benjamin. When he last returned. I circled around after I left to make sure you were okay, to make sure he didn't hurt you."

"Oh no." Helena uttered.

"When the rain stopped I heard you both clearly. I heard you yelling his name." Mikhail spat with disgust.

"I refuse to be a part of your sick game any longer. I want nothing to do with it."

"Mikhail I can explain!"

"I don't want to hear it Helena!" he yelled at her causing her to take a step back.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Too late. I hope you are happy with him, but I know you won't be. Goodbye Helena."

Helena watched in horror as Mikhail turned his back on her and began to walk away.

"Don't leave me Mikhail! Please!" she screamed as what was left of her sanity shattered. "Mikhail! Please come back!"

But it was to no avail. Mikhail was gone. Helena sunk to the ground and buried her head in her hands. All she could do was cry. She didn't care if she ever got up again.


	20. Isabel

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 20-Isabel

Helena was still lying on the ground when she heard someone approaching. She didn't bother moving. It didn't matter if Mikhail had changed his mind or Ben was coming back to her. She had lost her will to do anything.

"Helena?" came an unfamiliar voice close to her. It wasn't Ben or Mikhail; it was a woman.

Helena raised her head slowly to see who the voice belonged to. She saw someone she had thought she would never see again, whether it was on the show or on the island.

"Isabel?"

Not taking "no" for an answer Isabel had made Helena get to her feet and had helped her into the cabin. She cleaned her up and nursed her back to health much like Helena had done for Ben weeks and weeks ago.

* * *

Finally Helena couldn't take anymore. She had to know what Isabel's motives were.

"Why are you here?" she asked sitting up in her bed and looking to Isabel who sat in a chair close by.

"Ben asked me to come. He was unable to get away and wanted to make sure you were alright. It's a good thing too. I thought someone had hurt you when I saw you lying on the ground. But you did that to yourself didn't you?"

Helena ignored her question, "Is Ben okay?"

Isabel nodded, "He is fine. He has been working hard to fix the damage he caused."

"But he was protecting the island." Helena exclaimed.

"I know that and I believe it. But there are a lot of our people who do not. He is having to gain back their trust on top of dealing with this new threat to the island."

"DHARMA."

Isabel agreed, "Yes."

"I want you to tell me something Helena." She continued, "Why were you lying on the ground when I found you? Why were you injured?"

Helena hesitated. She wasn't sure if she should tell this strange yet familiar woman the truth. She had only seen her once on the show and that time had been brief. She wasn't certain or her role on the island or where her allegiance truly lay. But there was something that made Helena want to trust her. Isabel reminded Helena a lot of Ben, and for that reason she decided to tell her the truth.

"I guess you could say I went a little crazy." She admitted.

When Isabel didn't respond she continued. "Everything was fine when Ben left. It wasn't the first time and I handled it well on the previous occasions. So I though everything would be okay. I would just wait until he returned. But it didn't work that way. Within days I felt my sanity start to leave me. I began to talk to myself and was convinced that there was no possible way I could remain here alone. So I began to throw myself at the barrier. Ben told you about the barrier right?"

"He did." Isabel admitted.

"That is why I look so beat up. Each time I ran at it I would be throw back violently."

"Why did you continue to do it then?"

"I couldn't stop myself. When I grew exhausted I lay on the ground. Then you found me."

"Who else came to see you?" Isabel asked seriously. Helena saw the gleam in her eyes that told her she had been waiting since the beginning to ask this crucial question.

Helena tilted her head to the side as if thinking back, "No one." She then answered. "You are the first person I have seen since Ben left."

Isabel looked at her, her dark eyes growing cold, "You're lying to me Helena."

"I'm not." Helena claimed.

"You take me for a fool. I told Ben it was unwise to trust you. He was so foolish in letting you live, in bringing you here. He should have killed you before he even brought you before Jacob." She claimed her voice growing harsh.

"What are you talking about? I'm telling you the truth. Besides, Ben doesn't trust me anyway. He's kept me prisoner here so I couldn't contact anyone else." Helena rushed trying to figure out if Isabel really knew about Mikhail or if she was bluffing. She found her answer soon enough.

"I saw a set of footprints leading to the ash ring Helena. They are not Ben's prints, but they are those of a man. A tall man wearing large boots."

Helena could have sworn her heat skipped a beat. She knew Mikhail wore boots like she described. She tried to remain calm.

"That could have been anyone." She shrugged, "The barrier doesn't prevent anyone else from coming near or crossing, it only works on me."

Isabel stood and walked closer to the bed. Helena watched her carefully her own eyes never leaving Isabel's. She realized with defeat that Isabel did not believe her story.

"Tell me Helena. Was this the first time Mikhail has come to visit you or has he been here before?"

Helena eyes widened of their own accord and Isabel chuckled. She had her answer.

Isabel turned from her and Helena cradled her head in her hands. "Ben didn't send you did he?" she asked.

"No, he did not. He won't even have realized that I am gone. And when he does, it will be too late."

"Too late for what?" Helena wondered.

"Too late to save his beloved captive from the fate that should have befallen you long ago. Ben has no time to waste coming here too see you every few weeks. His thoughts need to be of the island and the island alone. With you out of the way he can regain his focus."

Helena felt her body grow cold at Isabel's words. "Who sent you to do this?"

"No one. I came on my own."

"Jacob wants me to live. Have you asked him about your plan?"

"What that old man has to say does not matter to me. He has little power to stop me or do anything for that matter." Isabel said walking to the table and retrieving her bag.

Helena made a last effort plea. "Please stop this talk Isabel. Ben will not look kindly on you if you kill me. He has an interest in me and he won't want that to be taken away without his consent."

"Ben will not have a chance to think twice about you. I will tell him you have been disposed of and he will continue with his work for the island. Surely you don't think he is love with you?" Isabel laughed seeing from Helena's face she thought just that. "Ben's only love is this island. He is unable to love anything or anyone else."

"That's not true. He felt something for Juliet. And Annie! I know that he loved Annie." Helena said desperately.

"Yes, I made quick work removing the both of them. Juliet was easy. She believed the lies fed to her and turned her affections from Ben to Goodwin. But Annie proved harder to dissuade. She had years and years of love built up for Ben. She would not leave him for the world."

"You killed her?" Helena asked in horror.

"No, I simply let her die."

"Why would you do something so evil?"

"It's my job. I'm here to make sure that our community runs smoothly and that everyone continues with their appointed tasks. And if someone gets in the way of that then they must be removed. I'm quite good at my job." Isabel said as she pulled a large handgun out of her bag.

Helena scrambled back on the bed trying to get as far from Isabel as she could.

"I can't believe I trusted you."

Isabel considered Helena for a moment before raising her gun, "I never asked for your trust. In case you were wondering, I will be sure to tell Ben of your betrayal with Mikhail when I see him next."

"No!" Helena yelled, "I never betrayed Ben. He is the only one who I have been with. I love him!" Helena admitted as her hand slipped beneath Ben's pillow and brushed against something cool.

"That's what Annie said as well. It's too bad that I don't care then." Isabel mocked aiming carefully at Helena.

"Too bad you're a raging bitch is more like it." Helena spat and she tightened her hold on Ben's gun and pulled it from beneath the pillow to point at Isabel. Helena sent up a silent thanks to Ben for being paranoid enough to keep a gun hidden under his pillow.

The two women sat in silence for what felt like hours but were merely seconds. Helena didn't want to shoot Isabel but if it came down to her survival she wouldn't hesitate.

"You know I could kill you before you had a chance to pull the trigger?" Isabel glared from behind her gun.

"Then bring it on. I'm not afraid of you anymore Isabel. We're on even ground now."

"Silly girl. Do you even know how to use that thing? Better yet, do you really think you could use it to take someone's life?"

"You seemed to have forgotten an important piece of information Isabel."

"And what would that be?"

"Before, I asked you if you had spoken to Jacob about your plan. Before you so quickly wrote him off as invalid you should have stopped to realize that possibly I myself have spoken to him; have seen him."

"Ben is the only one who can see Jacob."

"A lie. Whether Ben realized it or not it is untrue. I can see Jacob just as well as I see you right now. And as you may or may not know there is one thing that one must do in order to be able to see Jacob."

Isabel was beginning to look less confident, "Which is?"

"You must kill someone. Your father to be precise. So yes, Isabel I do believe I could use this gun to take away someone's life. What makes you think that I care if you live or die when I would kill my own father?"

"You're bluffing."

"Maybe. Why don't you find out?" Helena said tightening her grip on the trigger.

"That won't be necessary." Intoned a calm voice near the front door.

Helena glanced over to see Ben with a gun trained on Isabel. She would have run to jump in his arms if Isabel hadn't been waiting to shoot her still.

Isabel looked quickly from Helena to Ben. She took her chance and swung her gun towards Ben thinking him the bigger threat.

She was right. Ben fired two shots and Isabel fell to the floor.

Helena launched herself off the bed and ran to Ben's side. She threw herself at him and hugged him tightly.

"I love you. I didn't think I was going to have the chance to tell you. I thought I would be dead before it came."

Ben slowly raised his arms to return Helena's embrace but she knew something was wrong when he spoke. Helena felt her strength leave her at his words and she fell to the floor in front of him.

"Are you certain you don't mean those words for Mikhail, my love?"


	21. Love

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 21-Love

Helena still sat on the floor looking blankly at Isabel's dead form across the room.

"I'm sure. I love you Ben. I feel nothing for Mikhail." She claimed.

Ben stood a few feet away as he paced back and forth. He refused to look at her, "I don't believe you."

"You never do."

"Don't mistake my meaning Helena." He warned, "I believe that you love me and I am happy to hear it. But I don't believe for a moment that you have no feelings for Mikhail. The fact that you didn't tell me he was still alive speaks volumes. You wanted to protect him and that shows that you care for him."

Helena looked up at Ben, "What are you going to do?"

"I'll bury Isabel in the morning. It is unfortunate that I had to kill her but right now you are much more valuable to me than she was. I'm quite disappointed that she took it upon herself to come here."

"I meant about me Ben."

Ben hesitated. Finally he looked at her and Helena was surprised at the unguarded pain in his eyes. He walked to where she sat and kneeled next to her.

"Do you truly love me?" he asked meeting her eyes.

Helena didn't hesitate, "Yes, I do."

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully. "I know that I shouldn't. By all means, I should hate you. But, I've found that I can't. I love you despite who you are. I can't help but love you."

Ben took her hand in his own. "Would you want to be with me forever?"

"Of course." Helena nodded.

"If I could make that possible. If we could be together on this island until the end of our days; that is something you would want?"

"Yes Ben." Helena said becoming confused at his words.

Ben looked relieved. In the long months she had been on the island she had never seen him show so much emotion.

"Then I need you to ask me." He stated.

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me to leave it all behind. To abandon my role as a leader. To leave the island to defend itself. Ask me to stay with you and never leave your side."

With his words Helena understood. Ben had found two things that he loved but was unable to have both. He loved the island and Helena equally but was unable to love them both at the same time. Helena knew how he felt. Only, she wasn't torn between a man and an island. She was torn between two men who in turn loved her.

She knew the next words she spoke would be the most important of her life. Her decision would change their lives and ultimately the island forever.

Jacob had told her she would need a companion on the island and he hadn't been lying. Helena knew she couldn't survive if she was alone. Her sanity would crumble within weeks if not days if she was left again. So she made the most selfish choice she had ever made in her entire life. She put a higher value on the fate of two than of many.

"Stay with me. Don't ever go back to them. Stay by my side and we can make each other happy. Please?" she pleaded as tears came to her eyes.

At her words Ben smiled, "Okay."

"You'll stay?"

"I will. Because you asked me too." He nodded.

Helena wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, "I love you so much. Thank you."

"Thank you Helena, for sacrificing your freedom for me." He said returning her hug.

Helena froze, "What do you mean?"

"If you had told me you didn't truly love me and wanted me to return to my people I would have set you free. You would have been able to leave the cabin and surrounding areas and go you own way. I'm thrilled you chose to stay here with me."

Helena pulled away from Ben and one look at his face told her he was serious.

"You would have let me leave?"

"Yes. I wouldn't want you to remain here if I thought you didn't feel anything for me."

Helena could have kicked herself. She should have known that there would be a twist. Ben was devious to his very core.

"You're punishing me." She claimed.

"Of course I am." He said standing up. "Did you really think there would be no repercussions for what you have done? What you've been doing?"

"I never did anything wrong." She said standing up herself and crossing her arms in front of her.

"If you didn't feel what you were doing with Mikhail was wrong then why did you hide it? Why did he run away every time I came near?"

"You sent him to his death!"

"I did nothing of the sort. I sent him to take care of a problem. Not once did I tell him to sacrifice himself. Though that is not really the point seeing as he is so damn hard to kill with his fierce loyalty to the island."

"Jealous Ben?" Helena mocked.

"Hardly. After all Mikhail isn't the one with the pretty girl locked up is he?" Ben spat.

Helena gasped, "You bastard. Is that what I am? Some play thing? Has anything you have told me been the truth? Do you even have a heart?"

"I assure you I do. And you hold it despite how insufferable you are at the moment. Maybe I should have listened to Jacob and left you in the jungle to fend for yourself."

"Then why didn't you? Why didn't you just leave me so none of this would have ever happened? I could be relaxing on the beach right now."

"Most likely you would be dead." Ben offered.

Helena shook her head, "I hate that I love you."

"Trust me," Ben said turning away from her, "the feeling is quite mutual."


	22. Reality

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 22-Reality

"I radioed my people, well, what is left of them, today. I told them I wouldn't be coming back. Richard is in charge now." Ben called to Helena. He was sitting on the front porch of the cabin watching her. For the last few hours she had been pacing the barrier, willing herself to the other side of it. So far she'd had no luck.

"That's wonderful." She said barely paying attention. She still hadn't gotten over the fact that Ben had tricked her into giving up her freedom and was trying desperately not to believe it.

"Did you even hear what I just said?" he asked.

"Does it matter?" she said without stopping or looking at him.

"Yes it does. Might it be possible for you to stop being so selfish for just a moment?" he said angrily.

Helena stopped when she registered his tone. "Selfish?" she wondered. "How have I been selfish?"

Ben left the porch and strode to her side talking as he moved. "I understand that it has been a difficult adjustment for you on the island. I also understand that you do not like being stuck here at the cabin and I know that you blame me for it. But did you ever stop to think about how I'm faring in all of this? I've just left my people, the only real family I've ever known. I'm no longer their leader, a position which I have fought hard to defend for years, and I've done that all for you. I've given up many things for you but all you see is yourself. Your own petty complaints."

"Petty?" Helena retorted. "I find it hard to see how my losing my freedom is a petty concern Ben."

"You asked me!" Ben all but yelled at her. He seemed surprised at his own outburst. "You asked me to stay Helena. You are the one who made the decision." He continued is a softer voice.

Helena lowered her shoulders, defeated, "Ben, you tricked me. How could I have known what you were thinking?"

Ben was quiet for a long time as he studied her. Finally he said two words that Helena never expected to hear, "I'm sorry."

Helena's eyes widened, "What?"

"You're right. I shouldn't have deceived you the way I did. I should have told you everything and then let you make your decision."

Helena shook her head in amazement. When she noticed Ben giving her a confused look she went to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you." She said pulling his closer.

"For what?" he asked.

"For being human."

* * *

Hours later they both sat on the bed talking about whatever came to their mind.

"Ben, do you really think that your people are going to leave you alone out here?"

"Yes," he nodded. "It's what I told them to do."

"But you said it yourself, you aren't the leader anymore. They don't have to follow your orders. What if they come here?"

"They won't." he said taking her hand.

"You don't know that Ben." She pushed.

"What are you afraid of Helena?"

"You saw what happened with Isabel," she said motioning towards the window. Outside, in the far corner of the yard, was a fresh mound of dirt. Ben had buried Isabel there that very morning.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What if more people come after me because I took you away? What if they want you back and are willing to kill me to make that happen?"

"I will explain the situation to them. They will understand."

"Isabel didn't. She didn't care."

Ben chuckled and pulled Helena down to lay next to him.

"Poor girl, I think that you have too many far fetched ideas running around in your head. This isn't like your television show."

"Ben, this is exactly the TV show. The show doesn't make sense. Crazy things happen every five minutes. There is no rhyme or reason to it and everything I have seen has been the same. The only thing that is different is me."

"Well maybe you have changed things then. Maybe you coming here changed the story and this is what is supposed to happen. We are supposed to happen."

Helena didn't hear his last words. She sat straight up, "Oh my God Ben, what if you're right? What if me being here is changing the show? You don't think I'm actually on the show like you are, do you?"

"I don't know. I suppose it could have changed a few things. What does it matter?"

Helena groaned in frustration, "You are such a man!"

Ben smiled, "That I am."

"You are impossible!"

"Listen dear, please stop worrying. Even if there is a connection between you and the television show there isn't much you can do about it."

"I guess you're right."

"I usually am." He smirked.

"Hardly." Helena quipped.

* * *

Helena lay awake for hours that night. She was worried. There had to be some kind of consequence for their actions, for her spurning Mikhail, for Ben abandoning his people. She hoped for the best but had a sinking feeling that what was coming was not going to be pleasant. 


	23. Confrontation

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

**Note: This is pretty much a transition chapter so I can get to the good stuff. Sorry it's been so long! Bear with me! hugs**

Chapter 23-Confrontation

Ben had been wrong. His people didn't forget about him. They came to claim him.

Helena stood on the front porch of the cabin and looked out over the yard. All of Ben's people stood there waiting. What they were waiting for Helena didn't know. But it looked like she was going to find out whether she wanted too or not.

"Richard, I told you to take them to the temple." Ben said his voice rising in disbelief. Both men stood at the front of the crowd in their own little "showdown".

"You put me in charge Ben and I made a decision."

"Why are you here Richard?"

Richard looked past Ben to Helena, "Mikhail made a very convincing argument."

"Oh God." Helena said as she heard Mikhail's name.

"And what is it that Mikhail has convinced you of?" Ben asked quietly.

Richard stepped forward to address Helena. "Mikhail spoke of a woman who miraculously appeared on the island after she had died in her own world. He also said that she had bewitched you Ben, into leaving your own people behind so you could stay with her."

"I did nothing of the sort!" Helena said indignantly.

"Oh you didn't?" a deep voice asked from the crowd. Helena took a step back as Mikhail stepped forward to cut through the crowd.

Ben glared at Mikhail but said nothing to him.

"Please Helena; do not lie to these people. You did in fact appear on the island without arriving on the submarine. You have taken their only leader away from them and left them to the mercy of the island."

"I didn't take away anybody that didn't come to me willingly!" Helena stated as she stepped off of the porch and strode to where the men were standing.

"You talk of my lies Mikhail, but what about your own? Let's not make this something it isn't. This is not about Ben no longer being the leader. This is between you and Ben and me. Is it really my fault you became jealous?"

Helena didn't even have to glance at Ben to see the smirk on his face, "Yes, Mikhail, do tell us of your jealousy." He mocked from behind Helena.

Mikhail pushed past Helena to stand right in front of Ben, "I have nothing to be jealous of."

Helena turned to the crowd, "Don't you see? This isn't about rescuing your leader. This is only a quarrel between two men."

Richard looked at Mikhail, "Is this true Mikhail?" he asked.

Mikhail ignored him, "You don't deserve her. You never did and you never will."

Ben simply shrugged.

"Mikhail, what are you doing? Did you think that by coming here it would change things?" Helena asked. "You are so quick to point out my supposed faults but you are the one who left. You abandoned me here."

Mikhail turned to glare her way, "No, Benjamin," he began but she cut him off.

"Exactly, Ben. Ben came back. Ben chose to stay with me. When you found out about my feelings for Ben you ran and didn't look back. I was devastated. But when Ben discovered my secret about you, he didn't turn away from me."

Helena ran her hands through her hair and looked from Mikhail to Ben. Ben's eyes locked with hers as she continued, forgetting about everyone else.

"Jacob told me that eventually I would have to choose between the two of you. At the time I told him I didn't want either of you. I told him I would rather attempt to survive by myself. But since then my feelings have changed. I'm quite certain I have fallen in love with you both which I find remarkable considering how different you are from each other."

Helena tore her eyes away from Ben and turned her back on the two men.

"It doesn't really matter how I feel now does it Mikhail? You made the decision for me when you condemned me for staying with Ben."

"Helena no!" Mikhail yelled, startling everyone, "You cannot stay with him."

"She will do as she pleases Mikhail." Ben threatened as he watched him carefully.

The crowd around them must have sensed the coming danger because they started to step back; retreating to the tree line.

Helena wasn't so lucky. She whipped back around as Mikhail grabbed her arm. He pulled her close until their faces were mere inches apart.

"I do love you." He whispered to her. "I should have stayed and fought for you."

Helena knew he was sincere, but also knew it no longer mattered. She didn't think the damage could be undone.

She slowly raised her hand to Mikhail's face, "I love you Mikhail. I'm sorry." She breathed as she pulled his lips to her own.

Helena should have heard the gun shot coming from a mile away.


	24. Murder

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

Chapter 24-Murder

"Ben, what have you done?" Helena screamed as she fell to her knees next to Mikhail. "Oh, Mikhail, I am so sorry." She said to his still form as tears flowed from her eyes.

"Helena, come here please." Ben called to her. When she ignored him he came up to her and pulled her up from the ground. She began to fight against him.

"You shot him! Why did you kill him Ben?" she asked as she tried to get away from him.

"I did it for you!" he said over her struggles.

At those words Helena stopped and really looked at him. He wasn't smirking and he didn't look triumphant. He looked like he truly regretted what he had done.

"What do you mean you killed him for me?" she whispered.

Ben pulled her close and hugged her tightly, "I couldn't watch him hurt you anymore. I couldn't bear to see you in pain."

Helena wrapped her arms around Ben and cried even more, "That is the second person you have killed to protect me. You really do love me don't you?"

"Of course I do. How could I not?" he chuckled.

"I've really made a mess of things haven't I? How many more people are going to get hurt or killed because I am on this island?"

"Just one." They both heard from behind them.

Helena and Ben whipped around to see Mikhail picking himself up off of the ground. He held a gun in his hand.

"Mikhail, thank god you're not dead." Helena said as she started for him, but Ben held her back.

"I don't believe he wants a hug right now dear." He said keeping a tight hold on her wrist.

Helena was confused for only a moment until Mikhail raised his gun and pointed it at Ben.

"Mikhail, what are you doing?" Helena asked.

Mikhail didn't even bother to look at her, "You have made your choice and you chose Benjamin. The man just shot me and you still want to be with him. Well, I refuse to let you have a life with this man after everything he has done."

"You can't kill Ben." Helena told him.

"I am through taking orders!" Mikhail screamed at her. "For as long as I can remember I have been following orders. Orders from Benjamin, orders from Jacob. And now you think you can give me orders of your own? No. I will listen no longer."

"Then you'll have to kill me as well." Helena said stepping in front of Ben.

"As you wish." Mikhail hissed as he pulled the trigger.

Helena felt herself fly across the ground as Ben shoved her out of the way. When she turned around she saw Ben lying on the ground in a growing pool of blood.

"No!" she yelled and ran to him, "Ben?"

"Helena." He breathed as she pressed her hands to bullet wound in his stomach trying to slow the bleeding.

"Please don't die." She begged as she laid her head against his chest.

"Look at me." He demanded in a faint voice.

Helena did as he asked and when she met his dull eyes she nearly lost her sanity.

With his last breath Ben said the three words that she had been longing to hear since the beginning, "I release you."

* * *

Helena cried over Ben's body for what felt like hours but turned out to be mere seconds. When she finally raised her head she saw that the crowd had moved closer to see their former leader. She ignored them and kept looking around on the ground for the item she sought. She found it next to Ben's leg and grasped the cold metal tightly as she stood up.

She found Mikhail who was now mixed in with the crowd.

"I suggest you all get the hell out of my way!" she ordered in a voice that carried to everyone.

When everyone moved out of the way except for Mikhail she knew she had her chance. She raised Ben's gun and aimed for Mikhail's head.

"Helena" Mikhail warned.

She didn't think she could really kill him. All other attempts had failed so far. But she did think she could buy herself some time.

"Goodbye Mikhail." She whispered as she pulled the trigger.

* * *

Helena ran. She ran for her life. She ran for the only thing she had left to live for.

She didn't know how she made it back to his cabin. But somehow her feet had shown her the way, while her mind tried to block out the horrible thing she had just done.

She pushed open the door and ran inside, noticing that nothing had changed. The cabin was empty.

"Jacob!" she screamed, "Jacob, please! I need your help!"


	25. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Ben and all of the other Lost characters do not belong to me. Helena, however, is mine.

A/N-This is set in season 3 after "The Man Behind the Curtain"

**Chapter 25-Epilogue**

_7 years later…_

Helena stood in front of the kitchen sink and reached into the soapy water to pull out another dish. Once it was clean she placed it on the drying rack with the others. She sighed as she looked out of the window in front of her. It was a beautiful sunny day.

She found it relaxing to be able to focus on something as simple as the daily chores. A few years ago she never would have been able to concentrate on something so mundane.

As she finished the dishes she glanced around her house. It was bright, open, and welcoming; something she had insisted on before moving in.

Helena moved through the house; adjusting things here and there. She stopped at the mantle above the fireplace. It held an array of pictures that were very dear to her heart. She had been lucky to come into possession of some of them a good while back and she treasured them.

She took her favorite down and studied it closely. A man with glasses and an impatient expression looked back at her. She wasn't there when the picture was taken but she loved it anyway.

The corners of Helena's lips tugged upward into a small smile as she remembered him. It was so long ago.

* * *

Helena remembered the day clearly. It was the day he died.

She never could have imagined Mikhail could be so cruel. Yes, Ben had shot Mikhail first, but she expected things like that from Ben. He could be cold, he was calculating and he did what needed to be done. But one look at Mikhail's face told Helena he was serious.

She was serious too, when she stepped in front of Ben. In those brief seconds she knew she was willing to die for him. She loved him.

Then, Ben died in her arms.

It had been all Helena could do not to break down and become hysterical. It was Ben's parting words to her that held her together. He had released the bind that held her to the cabin. She knew she had to get away.

It all happened so quickly. She was certain Mikhail would not let her run off into the jungle, so she shot him. Oddly enough she didn't feel any guilt.

* * *

Back in her home, still clutching the picture frame, Helena saw herself running frantically through the dense jungle. Her memory was so vivid she felt like she was really there again; running for her life.

* * *

She pushed open the door and ran inside, noticing that nothing had changed. The cabin was empty.

"Jacob!" she screamed, "Jacob, please! I need your help!"

He must have sensed the panic in her voice because he appeared right away.

"What is the matter child?" he asked her.

Helena threw herself at his feet as she choked back tears.

"He's dead!"

"Who is dead?" he asked puzzled.

It physically hurt Helena to say his name, "Ben. Mikhail killed him."

"But that was not Mikhail's path."

"Who cares about whether he followed the path you set for him? He shot Ben. I need you to help me!" Helena pleaded gripping the chair Jacob sat on.

"Of course child, what do you need?"

"He is going to come after me I know it. I shot him in the head but I'm sure he's not dead. Tell me what I should do. How can I get away from him?"

"Helena, I need you to calm down. Do you remember when you first came to the cabin and I told you that one day you would have to choose between Benjamin and Mikhail?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything? I never got a chance to choose. The one I would have chosen is lying dead in front of our cabin!" Helena yelled. She couldn't get Ben's face out of her mind. It only made her cry more.

"If they had both been alive, you would have chosen Benjamin?" Jacob pushed, ignoring her outburst.

"Yes."

"And now, that Benjamin is gone, would you be with Mikhail?"

"Never!" Helena spat, "After what he has done; what he has become? I would rather die."

Jacob nodded his head and was quiet for a moment while he studied her, "I see."

"Yours is an unfortunate fate sweet Helena. I must go and see to some things on the island."

With those words Jacob had vanished. Helena felt even more abandoned than ever. She stopped trying to hold her tears back. She leaned against Jacob's empty chair and cried.

* * *

Helena stood and wiped a lone tear from her cheek. As she was replacing the picture on the mantle she heard the front door open.

"Hello dear." A man's voice called to her.

She turned with a smile, "You're home early."

"I thought I would surprise you. Are you alright? You look like you've been crying."

Helena shook her head, "I'm fine. I was just looking at some old pictures."

He nodded, "I see."

"I think I'd like to go back one day. Just to look around, you know?"

"Darling, we've talked about this."

"I know, I know. But it still feels like such a huge part of me. I'd hate to turn my back on it."

"I'll see what I can do alright? But there is no guarantee it can be found, you know that?"

Helena nodded, "Thank you." As she wrapped her arms around her husband.

* * *

A week later Helena was still thinking of her time spent in her cozy little cabin. She may not have thought it was cozy then. In fact, it had felt like a prison, but she yearned to see it again nonetheless.

She did her best to remember the goods times she had seen in the cabin and not the horrors that followed, but every so often she would see Ben's face. She would hear his voice whisper, "I release you."

He had saved her life with those precious words. She knew if he hadn't said them she would be dead.

"Helena, could you come here please?" her husband called.

She found him standing at the front door, "What is it?"

He smiled at her, "Take a walk with me?"

"Alright." She nodded and slipped some shoes on.

They talked as they walked. The reminisced of the time they first met. The first time they had argued with each other. The first time they made love. Their conversation helped steer Helena's thought away from her past. She knew it was better to focus on her present, and their future.

They walked for so long that Helena stopped paying attention to where they were going. It had been a while since they had passed anyone else but the scenery was so beautiful that Helena didn't think too much on it.

Finally they stopped and as Helena was about to ask why she was hushed by her husband, "Look." He said and pointed in front of them.

Helena took a step forward and then another. What she saw could have stopped her heart beating.

"You found it?" she whispered.

As she moved closer she began to remember every detail. The wild had taken control once more but she could still make out the shape of the small cabin. The clearing was overgrown with brush but she still knew exactly where the barrier had been. She saw herself running at it over and over again just to spite the man who put it there.

She saw the spot where she had sat with Mikhail and watched the stars. She looked to the porch and remembered when she had punched Ben and told him to leave. She saw what used to be a small rise in the earth where Ben had buried Isabel.

Helena walked to a spot in the clearing and stopped. She would never forget this spot.

"This is where you died." She said quietly.

She turned to face her husband and tears rushed her eyes, "This is where you died Ben! Right here!" she choked. "I held you in my arms as you stopped breathing. I wanted to join you so badly."

Ben came to Helena's side and enclosed her in his arms. "Darling, don't say that. If you had died then I wouldn't be here today."

And he was right, Helena knew as she buried her head into his shoulder. It was a miracle. And it was all thanks to Jacob.

Jacob, who had tested her from the start. Who told her that she would have to choose between the two men she was growing to love. Jacob, who abandoned her in the dark cabin, once he found he could finally leave it.

* * *

Once Helena had cried all the tears she could cry she had picked herself up and wandered outside. She didn't care if Mikhail found her anymore. With Ben gone, she had lost her will to survive.

She walked for hours that turned into days. She didn't care where she went, she just couldn't sit still.

After two weeks she ended up back at Jacob's cabin. She stood looking at it as if it were some kind of joke.

"Why?" she had screamed to the sky. "Why was I even brought here? Why didn't you leave me dead?"

Helena fell to her knees in defeat, "I'm done." She said to herself.

"Helena?" called a voice from the cabin door.

She looked up and saw him, "Ben?"

* * *

"Helena?" Ben asked again pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Hmm?" she mumbled.

Ben watched her closely, "Do you want to see him?"

Helena knew who Ben was talking of but didn't know how it could be true. She hadn't seen him since he left her in the cabin. She nodded, yes.

"Come." He said and gently led her forward to the front door of the run down cabin.

He slowly pushed the door open and motioned for her to step inside before him.

As Helena's eyes adjusted she saw that her beloved cabin was just as it had been left.

Then she saw him. He was standing at the fireplace looking down into flames that didn't exist.

Her breath caught, "Jacob?"

He turned to her and sent her a kind and knowing smile, "See sweet Helena, you made the right choice."


End file.
